Fast Times at Nago's Nerd Alert.

To me, the bands of the very early 80's were somewhat confused in their identity. Most of the big Rock acts of the day were not really metal, not really new wave and not necessarily ready made for traditional Top 40 radio either. The fashion was just as confused, but it was a bit of controlled chaos on both fronts and it made for a fresh time in pop culture. History tends to jump from Disco to Madonna, but personally I find the years in between to be pretty interesting.

Before I get into the best of that era, I want to briefly look back on how we got there.

In 1956, Rock and Roll was new, fresh and innocent. It may have scared parents, but the kids flocked to the excitement of it all, and why not? After all, it belonged to the youth and went against the conservative grain of the times. As vanilla as 50's Rock and Roll appears in history today, it was still pretty damn exciting back then. It also ushered in a new Fad for the masses: the cool kids.

In the 60's, everything was wide open for experiment. We had mop-tops, bikini tops, tie-dyes and birthday suits all within a few short years. No one had a rule book. The Beatles put out so much quality music during their several incarnations that even though they started out mop-top, they ended up legends. The cool kids were ready to be challenged, and pop culture delivered a revolution or two for them to devour.

The 70's got way more commercial, and so did some of the cool kids. Their collars got big and the shoes got tall. Polyester became clothing material and a few cool kids learned to dance. BUT, the 70's also gave us an underground, which made the way for a cool kid redefinition. Guitars got heavy and production became a craft. They weren't as deep as the generation preceding them; they did not want to change the world. They either wanted to party in the world that existed, or burn it down around them.

Enter the early 80's. The music and culture was up for grabs. Christopher Cross, Joe Jackson, The Police, Pat Benetar and The Go-Go's took the best and worst from the 70's and sold the shit out of it. Many superstars were rising as Jeff Spicoli waxed history with Mr. Hand. Some of the dinosaurs of the 60's and 70's managed to maintain careers through the transition, but Van Halen existed, and it was hard to compete with that.

Pop culture was ready for someone to come along and capture the disenfranchised youth post Zeppelin and Punk. They needed a voice, and Cameron Crowe delivered what was to become the first great high school teenage FU movie since Rebel Without a Cause. Fast Times at Ridgemont High set the bar pretty high with a format that is still copied to this day. It came along at a time where we could still be honest about teenage life in America, and not so frickin sensitive about how kids act (and react) to situations.

But, wait...Nago blogs about music, whats with the movie stuff?

This movie is filled with great music references even though the soundtrack mostly blows. Check out the track listing:

1. "Somebody's Baby" (Jackson Browne)
2. "Waffle Stomp" (Joe Walsh)
3. "Love Rules" (Don Henley)
4. "Uptown Boys" (Louise Goffin)
5. "So Much in Love" (Timothy B. Schmit)
6. "Raised on the Radio" (The Ravyns)
7. "The Look in Your Eyes" (Gerard McMahon)
8. "Speeding" (The Go-Go's)
9. "Don't Be Lonely" (Quarterflash)
10. "Never Surrender" (Don Felder)
11. "Fast Times (The Best Years of Our Lives)" (Billy Squier)
12. "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" (Sammy Hagar)
13. "I Don't Know (Spicoli's Theme)" (Jimmy Buffett)
14. "Love Is the Reason" (Graham Nash)
15. "I'll Leave It up to You" (Poco)
16. "Highway Runner" (Donna Summer)
17. "Sleeping Angel" (Stevie Nicks)
18. "She's My Baby (And She's Outta Control)" (Palmer/Jost)
19. "Goodbye, Goodbye" (Oingo Boingo)

This is a good example of how awkward the music scene was before MTV blew up. Unfortunately I am positive that it did not even come close to capturing the essence of this film.

Dude, where is the music that actually existed in this movie????

The Cars - Moving In Stereo
This song is iconic in this scene. They are inseparable. Phoebe Cates is still a goddess for her infamous pool scene.

The Go-Go's - We Got the Beat
The only Go-Go's song that I remember from the movie. A great movie opening track.

 

Led Zeppelin - Kashmir
Right before Ratner's first date with Stacey, Damone gives him the important advice: "When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on Side One of Led Zeppelin IV." Cue "Kashmir," from Physical Graffiti. FAIL!!!!

Sam and the Pharaohs - Wooly Bully
Spicoli says "Hey dude, I know that song" and joins the cover band on stage.

Somebody's Baby - Jackson Brown
The honorable mention is a song that actually made it on the soundtrack, Jackson Browns "Somebody's Baby". The scene is a 15 year old Stacey (Jennifer Jason Leigh) headed out to the Point to lose her innocence to a man much too old for her (after she lies to him about her age).

Other great music moments:
Damone tapping out Cheap Trick to a potential scalped ticket customer, who, is uninterested based on it being "kid stuff". Cheap Trick is maybe not exactly what you would call "In the Movie", but they are there in spirit.

Spicoli crashing a '78 Z28 while listening to Sammy Hagar

There are more, I am sure.... Watch the movie again and relive them yourself. I think I may do the same soon.

Call this Blog filler if you will, but respect what Cameron Crowe did years before Singles, Jerry McGuire and (my personal favorite) Almost Famous. This movie is "awesome, totally awesome".




Now Playing 02/26/2012:
Michale Graves - All the Hallways
Alabama Shakes - Always Alright
Frank Turner - I Still Believe
Bad Religion - True North
Grace Potter - Like a Prayer
Baroness - March to the Sea
CCR - Born on a Bayou



He was a hard headed man, he was brutally handsome...and she was nerdially pretty.

All I wanna do is have a one nighter with Ann Wilson, or is it Nancy?

Every now and then you hear a song that makes you think, "Damn that's bad, really bad", which leads me to question: why is it that the worst of the bunch will stay with you for a lifetime whether you like it or not. Why is it, that, in the middle of the night, when you wake up to pee, some stupid melody or riff is playing out in your mind? Why, when you are stuck on Peach Street at 7:30 AM, is a bad melody surfacing to your lips so steadfast that you feel forced to whistle its awfulness?

Recently, a song has been stuck in my head, and all I want to do is get it surgically removed (the song, not my head). It is so bad that even after 20+ years, it still has me dumbfounded about it's dumbness. A song so bad, that I must spend a few short minutes dissecting it via blog.

So without further ado, I give you a study into one the worst songs of all time, that steamy pile of crap "All I wanna Do is Make Love to You" by the one and only Heart.

It pains me to tear this song apart, it really does. Ann and Nancy Wilson deserve a lifetime achievement award for 1976's Dreamboat Annie, more on that later...

Lets start with the video:

It gets me every time. A story about a young lady picking up a hitchhiker, never asking him his name, taking him to a hotel and banging the bejesus out of him. They used no protection and she gets pregnant. We find out later that her and her husband (someone she loves dearly) could not conceive without the seed of this nameless stranger, so it's all good.

Oh, but wait.... Then it happened one day, they came 'round the same way. Dude was shocked to see the resemblance and recognised this lovechild as his creation. So she begs him to be cool about it?

Now, I don't know about you, but this scenario is unrealistic in that most shitty dudes would be like "yeah, cool, c-ya", and walk away thinking "whew, I dodged that bullet". I mean, lets face it, if this guy was "standing by the road with no umbrella and no coat" in the rain, he was probably a winner, right? How did he get there? What is the back story?

And therein lies the problem. There are too many holes in this story.

If the whole thing was not weird enough already, Ann takes it one step further. In an effort to emphasize how good the lovemaking was, she claims "He brought the woman out of me, so many times, easily". Dude, that is just way too much information for a 1990's top 40 smash hit. And I love that she left him a note that said "we walked in the garden, we planted a tree". What the hell kind of innuendo is that anyway?

She is lucky that all she got was pregnant. They probably cut the HPV verse out of the song.

One more thing: Nancy wanking her guitar in the video, is funny shit.

On to the wic-wic-wiki.

No surprise here: Mutt Lang wrote this pitiful excuse for bim. Heart has since disowned it saying that it was too commercial, and they did not want to do it (but they probably didn't mind cashing the checks, nah-mean?).

Here's something interesting that was news to me: It is a cover song of another bad song, well sort of:

Turns out Mutt Lang wrote this duck for Don Henley in 1979, but Henley turned him down (gee, why?). So Dobie stepped up to the plate and knocked it out of the park. Proof that you can't shine a turd? Yes, I think so.

Mutt recovered from this fail nicely. He went on to record such classics as Back in Black, Pyromania and Foreigner 4. Still, his melody from the '70's lingered until he forced the Wilson sisters to re-record it with new lyrics. Whooptie-flippin-do.

All of this is great, but why has this song been wedged in Nago's head? It may be because of my Broseph, Base,who  keeps sending me texts with lyrics to this gem. Here's how it usually goes:

• Go into office
• fire up e-mail
• check phone
• read messages
• first message says: Image his surprise, when he saw his own eyes. 
• forward message to family
• move on with day  

I love my friends. They keep me grounded. lol.

I just can't leave it on this note.... Here is "Crazy on You" to wash that crappy taste out of your mouth. Why can't this be stuck in my head in traffic?

Nago 




All I wanna do is make nerds with you.

My Name is not Prince - and I am not Funky

Tonight I am going to dip my pen in a topic near and dear to Nago... What in the hell happened to Prince?

I watched him on the tele presenting at the Grammy's last night. He looked good for a man his age. Honestly, he looked good for a person of my sons age.  Dude just doesn't age physically.

I remember the last time I saw Prince kill it. He played lead on My Guitar Gently Weeps at George Harrison's Solo induction at the R&RHOF induction ceremony in 2004 (9 years ago for those keeping score). His playing starts at 3:28, and it is great. So much vibrato in his right hand...

That performance justified what I had said since 1984, that Prince was underrated on guitar.

Before you say it, yes, I saw him perform at the Superbowl a few years ago. I guess it was controversial, but to me it seemed so staged and un-geniune (unlike his performance above).

Disclaimer: I am now, and forever will be, a Metalhead. I know...I know... Metalhead? Nago Blogs bout classic rock, he records acoustic albums and is a sucker for Bad Religion. THIS BLOG IS ABOUT PRINCE!!! How in any light is Nago a Metalhead?

It's easy folks... I am smarter than the Chris Brown / Beyonce / Katy Perry crowd. That's right, SMARTER! Anyone who ingests that crap with conviction is dumb. It is throw away rubbish.

My son, Mocha, thinks that my musical taste is very European. I tend to agree, at least when it pertains to modern music. I love Opeth and I love the Beatles. If you can't make the connection, then you are the one with an issue, not me.

However, I like to think that I can recognise true talent when it does a split in white leather pants right in front of me. Prince was the phucking King. I thought he was just as good as Michael in 1984, and better post Thriller. Until he got weird. Neigh, he got really weird... Not LAPD strip search weird, but weird none the less.

Before I go there, I want to go to the goods. The best in fact:

Purple Rain is a true classic. There is so much emotion in that song that it bleeds with raw intensity. Everything about it is perfect. As a matter of fact, the whole album is (almost) perfect. The movie adaptation is not the worst movie ever either (anyone who has seen "Streets of Fire" can vouch for it's cred as "not the worst"). It is a period piece that is somewhat self indulgent, but Morris Day and the Time are in the house!!!

  

Oh, but I dare go deeper than that... I love "When Doves Cry" and "I would Die 4 U", but in truth, that whole LP is a not-so-guilty pleasure for me. I really do hold it in high regard. I actually sampled it in 2008 for the song "Barstool". All of the nicks and pops on the track came from my Purple Rain LP. We recorded the scratches organically in the studio on an old school portable record player. The scratches were gained over time, and Prince has no right to them, lol.

 





So, beyond the Purple Rain brilliance, there was "Under the Cherry Moon". Raspberry Beret was likable, but not brilliant. I did really like the "You Need Another Lover, Like you Need a Hole in Your Head" jammie, but it was still not brilliant.

To be fair, Prince made a few top 10 hits in and after the Cherry Moon era:

• Kiss - No. 1 - 1986
• U Got the Look - No. 2 - 1985
• Sign of the times - No. 3 - 1987
• Alphabet St. - No. 8 - 1988 (seriously???)
• I Could Never Take the Place of your Man - No. 10 - 1988
• Batdance - No. 1 - 1989 (can't make this shit up)
• Cream - No. 1 - 1991 (get on top - bitches)
• 7 - No. 7 - 1993 (So ironic - so good)
• The Most Beautiful Girl in The World - No. 3 - 1994 (I have sung this to every one of my neices since)

So there it is. A decade of art that is stupidly effin influential, and it does not even include the 1999 era (anyone remember Little Red Corvette???).

I was unfortunate enough to give Prince too much credit after 1994. I actually bought 1996's "The Gold Experience". What a piece of total garbage.

So answer me this... At what point does an artist lose all sense on melody, artistry, touch and responsibility?

Many have recovered. Sir Paul put out some ducks in the early 1970's (and even in the 1980's - Spies Like Us), but recovered to give us classics like "Live and Let Die".  

We want to love you bro, we really do. Gotye AND Kimbra praised you last night. I was like "Oh snap, It's Prince.... Hell Yeah!", but then I remembered how disappointed in you I am.

Prince, I beg you... Please rock again. Re-hire the Revolution. I'll even take the New Power Generation, they kind of owned... HOWEVER.. Prince took all of his material off of the Internet, thus - no Prince + NPG video to enjoy, which kind of bums me out.

PLEASE DO SOMETHING AWESOME!!!!! Please, at least phone one in for me.

Until then, I leave you with the absolute perfect package.... Ani DiFranco singing "When Doves Cry"

This is what it sounds like, when nerds cry..





Hey, Ho...NAGO.

Up until I was 16, I thought the Ramones were a joke. Seriously, I was too metal to understand the appeal until then. As fate would have it, I was fortunate enough to be a roadie for a local DJ part time in my youth. Which, in a way, helped convert me into a faithful Ramones fanboy.

DJ-ing was a family thing (my mother, Elly, was a DJ), and I did not mind tagging along, especially if the gig was destined to be a good time. Rules: School Dances were always fun, outdoor gigs (regardless of the event) were usually cool, but I kind of hated traditional weddings. I have seen one too many dollar dances to really give a shit.

I actually DJ'd one gig on my own at the Seibenbuerger Club when I was 20. I blew. But I digress....

One night, at age 16 (1991 for those keeping score), I was offered the roadie gig for an event at the Pitt campus in Titusville. Never one to turn down money, I accepted. So we loaded up the blue Caravan and headed to the venue.

I remember it like it was yesterday: a Social Hall with horrible acoustics, filled with students requesting off the wall shit like Bob Dylan. I realized early that we were out of familiar territory... Elly was a wedding/dance DJ, and supplied the educated youth with ample amounts of Technotronic despite their cries for the artsy fartsy.

Now, even though the awkward requests from the college crowd had no place at a traditional dance, Elly, always the professional, did her best to appease them. One tune they all wanted to hear was "I Wanna Be Sedated" by the Ramones. When Elly spinned that record, I shit you not, the place erupted into a fever pitch of excitement. People were bouncing like a room full of retarded rabbits. Then all of a sudden, a human train erupted. It was a weird but wondrous moment that left an impression on the young Nago.
A hundred kids jumping around to a song by the Ramones? Whats up with that? 

I am sure the rest of the dance sucked.

After we got got back to Old Wattsburg Road later that evening, I took Elly's Ramones Mania CD from her case. I spun it a few times, and felt nothing. A few more spins yielded the same result. It took some time for the brilliance of the remedial NYC punkers to slowly seep into my consciousness.

Fast forward a few years. The hair was gone, the scene had changed and Nago was an impressionable mind absorbing all that he could. It was prime time for a Ramones revival. I remembered the experience at the dance at BFE Pitt Campus and started a Napster/Ramones download frenzy that included some seriously obscure stuff at the time (including the non-released "Carbona Not Glue" - which is still one of my favorites).

Honestly though, "Blitzkrieg Bob" was the gateway drug. I still love it.

I could go on all night about the Ramones, but I won't. I will say this, I love music that is equal parts sad and upbeat. "The KKK Took My Baby Away" is perfect for this reason. Joey's girlfriend split to marry his guitar player, Johnny. The two never were the same afterward. Johnny was a huge conservative, hence, Joey's metaphorical lyric, which to me was equal parts sad and beautiful in expressing his depression regarding the loss of his love to his partner and friend.

Also, anyone that can wax about the simplicity of horror with a lyric like : "Hey Daddy-o, I don't wanna go down to the basement, there's something down there", deserves a slow clap by everyone that gets it.

 

One more note: "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" is one of the best Rock and Roll songs ever written. It is right up there with Peggy Sue and Hound Dog. The Ramones studio version is not available on YouTube, so deal with the cover (which still kicks ass).

RIP:
Joey:        1951 to 2001 (Lymphoma)
Dee Dee: 1951 - 2002 (Heroin overdose)
Johnny:    1948 - 2004 (Prostate Cancer)

It is pretty sad that one of the most influential bands of all time had 3/4 of its original members die within 3 years of each other. This is especially tragic considering the band started in 1974 and disbanded in 1996.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramones


Nerds can hitch a ride to rock away beach...