In honor of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony this weekend, I have decided to spend a little time talking about the craziest weirdo on the plant W. Axl Rose (Bill Bailey).
Axl recently broke his silence to post/send a letter to the LA Times explaining why he will not attend the R&RHoF ceremony where his former band, Guns and Roses will be bestowed with one of Rocks greatest honors.
Now, we all know that Axl owns the name "Guns and Roses" but no matter how hard he tries, he cannot escape the fact that this band was the sum of its parts, and not his solo project with a backing band as it stands today.
I would love to say that Axl is a parody of his former self, but the truth is that he was always an asshole. I would love to say that Axl actually deserves the attention he gets, but he doesn't. He is just another wacked out star. At least he is true to himself in being who he has always been.
I now realize that his voice is the most screechy, nasally, high pitched, odd sounding thing I have ever heard. To me, Axl sounds like a Muppet. It took me years to realize that, as I had my "I grew up with GnR" Axl Rose colored glasses on, but as an adult, I can be more objective.
100 Years from now, people will look back at us and laugh their uranium plated asses off at our weirdness. I honestly think that anyone looking back will hear Screechy Mr. Rose, and wonder what all the fuss was about?
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Cash Rules Everything Around Me:
According to celebritynetworth.com, Axl is worth a cool $200 Million. Let's break down the other members:
- Slash = $32 Million
- Izzy = $28 Million
- Duff = $20 Million (I thought it would be more - he was supposed to be a financial guru, an early Starbucks investor, and is a financial columnist)
- Adler = $15 Million
- Matt = $10 Million (not bad for a hired Gun)
That's right, Axl is worth almost twice as much as the other Guns combined. How the hell did that happen? With a smile and a middle finger, that's how.
On a side note, just in case you were wondering (I was) : - Gene Simmons is worth $300 Million
- Paul = $125 Million
- Ace = $35 Million
- Peter = $2 Million
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House That Rock Built
Back to Axl. Dude, you are delusional. Unfortunately so many of your fans buy your bamboozle, although not in terms of record sales, just in concert tickets. I would not walk across the street to see 2012 GnR for free. It is not the band I grew up with. It is DRL band, it is the Vince Neil band, it's the Art Garfunkel band, it's Sublime with Rome, it's like James Gang without Joe Walsh or Paul Bostaph era Slayer (yeah, I said that). Not cool Axl. Not cool at all.
So now Axl has decided to shun the House that Rock built. Not really a big shock, but the way he worded it kinda sound like he is gearing up for a lawsuit if anyone even mentions the name Guns and Roses.
Quote from Axl's letter to the LA Times:
For the record, I would not begrudge anyone from Guns their accomplishments or recognition for such. Neither I or anyone in my camp has made any requests or demands of the Hall Of Fame. It's their show not mine.
That said, I won't be attending The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction 2012 Ceremony and I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns N' Roses to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.
I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor may anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf. Neither former members, label representatives nor the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame should imply whether directly, indirectly or by omission that I am included in any purported induction of "Guns N' Roses".
Another Quote:
There's a seemingly endless amount of revisionism and fantasies out there for the sake of self-promotion and business opportunities masking the actual realities. Until every single one of those generating from or originating with the earlier lineups has been brought out in the light, there isn't room to consider a conversation let alone a reunion.
Maybe if it were you it'd be different. Maybe you'd do it for this reason or that. Peace, whatever. I love our band now. We're there for each other when the going get's rough. We love our fans and work to give them every ounce of energy and heart we can.
Axl, just so we are clear on this, every single Guns fan alive is a fan of the Appetite and Illusion line-ups, not this farce with the guy from the Friends soundtrack, that one dude who kinda wears a hat like Slash and the other guys that no one has heard of. Dizzy Reed doesn't count either (who?).
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Will the real Guns and Roses please stand up?
Guns and Roses was the sum of it's parts. The great songwriting and loose rhythm playing of Izzy, the no frills lead work of Slash, Duff's guitar turned Bass playing, and the caveman drumming of Steven Adler. There was also this weasel guy singing.
They killed Hair Metal. They kicked ass. They rocked so hard they got respect from every side of the music biz. They reminded everybody that edgy rock and roll should not be contrived. That rebellion started this coaster, and nothing runs it better than rebellion. They changed the world over the course of 1 Album, 1 EP and 2 follow-up Albums that should have been condensed into one.
They became a monster, and their lead singer willingly bought the hype. He actually believed that he was better than everybody else. His ego became so huge that it systematically eliminated the thing that got him to the top, his band. In doing so he convinced himself that he alone was Guns and Roses.
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Digression - Giving Izzy Credit:
Anyone care to take a stab at why GnR fell so fast back in the early 90's? Simple: because Izzy quit. Izzy was the heart of that little band, and they sucked without him.
OK, so there was Velvet Revolver. Anyone care to guess why they sucked? I have some good ideas, but the main reason: Izzy was not into it, so Izzy did not do it. If Izzy was into it, VR would have had a better shot of ruling.
Izzy Stradlin is a "do whatever the hell I want" kind of guy these days, and I seriously respect that, but I hate Axl for the same reason. That's my double standard and I am not giving it up! Unfortunately, Izzy's music today is some of the most uninspired crap I have ever heard and it makes Keith Richards solo work seem really good.
It was not always that way though. Remember the JuJu Hounds?
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Reunion:
Hanging on to the Guns and Roses name is a falsehood because Axl outsourced the music to scabs. Lets be honest about this though. As long as people show up to the arenas, Axl will never reunite the old band, and even then there is no guarantee.
Led Zeppelin wouldn't reunite because Bonham is dead, but then they did. Kiss pulled it off (until they didn't). Van Halen is on a successful tour with DRL (minus Michael Anthony). The Sex Pistols did it. Even the Police did a tour recently. Hear that Axl, POLICE REUNITED!!!!
It's a drag when the fans, the real fans, can't get no satisfaction from the artist.
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Axl the Artist:
- You know the guy that could run the fryer better than you at McDonalds? Yeah, that was Axl.
- You remember the guy from grade school that would make up the rules of kick ball as the game went along because he sucked? Yeah, that was Axl.
- You remember the kid that cried when you beat him at Chutes and Ladders? Axl...
- The guy that only liked girls you liked? Axl...
Just because you can rhyme words does not make you a poet. Let's examine some of Axl's brilliance:
Example #1:
When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you, don't you know I feel the same?
Nothin' lasts forever and we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain
Is it possible that he's great, and the rest of us are lame?
He thinks it's rocket science, 'cause he smoked some Mary Jane.
Example #2
You could be mine
but you're way out of line
with your bitch slap rappin and your cocaine tongue you get nothin' done
you could be mine
Wow, that shit is so lame that I don't even care to rip on it. My point is that we take clowns like this too seriously. After all, it is the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY for Rose's sake.
I'll bet that Axl thinks he can do pottery better than everybody to. That's the guy he is. And boy did he think highly of himself back in the day:
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Conclusion:
Axl, please stay home and cry about how it's you against he world. If everybody else around you are all assholes, chances are (it's you buddy)..........Truth:
- You are famous because of guys like me that saw some talent in a band, and believed in that.
- You are famous because of guys like Izzy, that lent you his music for you to create a signature.
- You are famous because of guys like Slash, a throwback to an era when image, talent and originality actually mattered.
- You are famous because you had balls, and so did the bros you so easily cast aside.
- You are famous because we let you be, and sooner or later the rest of the world will figure out that you are a hack.
I will let James sum it all up (twice):
Nerdin' like a freight train, flyin' like an aeroplane.
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