Strange days indeed. I purposely haven't blogged about Chester. It's too soon after Cornell, and I have no good Chester Bennington stories. I was not what you could consider a fan of Linkin Park, but I didn't hate them, and I have always thought they changed the game completely with Hybred Theory. My son, Mocha, believes it to be a perfect L.P. I won't argue with that. Commercially, it was.
Death is death. The great unknown. Losing heros we admire is difficult. Suicide is such a strange thing. I could not even begin to imagine the darkness of a mind in that moment, wanting final resolution like that. I've been close to darkness, but life is always worth living. A friend once told me "a year from now, your life will be so much different." This simple truth was enough to make me push through the worst of my depression, because I want to know the guy from a year from now. I want to see what he does and where he has been. I want to hear his songs and read his words.
There are many stories circulating on abuse Chester suffered as a child. This abuse is being blamed for his mental state. To be tortured by the acts of an adult as a child is abusive beyond words. It haunted Chester, and he was honest about it. It's just not fair to snuff out a bright light of innocence. It makes me sick. Abuse comes in many forms: sexual, mental, physical, neglect, etc.. We should always keep that in mind. I have lost my cool in dealing with a stubborn child or two, and I understand that parenting is not perfect, but to be purposefully abusive is more than criminal. It's a mortal sin.
At the pool a few weeks ago, we saw a woman being a complete ass to a child. Yelling at her like she was an adult, demanding trivial things, and at one point, left this child alone in a parking lot while she ran to her car. You want to be cool and not interject, you also want to snatch a bitch by her nasty ass stringy hair and defend the kid. Stuff like that is hard to watch, and even harder to know how to handle. I, like everyone else, said nothing, and I'm ashamed for it. I have no interest in making a scene, but maybe a scene would have been enough for this child to see an example of kindness?
If there is any justice in the world, the kid is loved and her adult companion from the pool day goes out of her life for now.
I think about my sons, the sacrifices we all made to do what we perceived to be right by them. Nothing was perfect, there were no magic answers. It was hard, but they were loved. Parenting is the hardest job people are willing to do. Its also the most rewarding. Sometimes the hardest choices include laying aside principles for the greater welfare of a child, other times, standing by your principles is the lesson a child needs to see. We protect our children. We keep them safe from harm and teach them. We reward their achievements, and we scold their mistakes. We mold them.
I still miss my almost-step daughter, and the light that shined through her stubbon (as hell) eyes. She too is loved, and she is surrounded by a good family. I wonder if my parachuting into her life for a few years did her harm? I always did the best I could for her. I have faith she will be safe and grow up to have an amazing life. If she sets her mind to it, she absolutely will. Someday maybe she will forgive me for not being able to stay there. With age comes wisdom. I hope she remembers our few years fondly.
Back to Chester. His lyrics haunt his fans, as he made his unease known to the world. The band was his vehicle to get his emotions out. We take our entertainment seriously these days as a society, and Linkin Park, one of the biggest rock bands of the last 20 years, related to many due to its underlying message of loss. We all struggle. For Chester, the struggle is over too soon. I hope that he truly rests in peace. The world moves forward without him today, but the impact will remain for a long time.
Nago
No comments:
Post a Comment