Kanye matters... Just ask him.

Ever wonder what Kanye looked like in High School? You know, back before he was the almighty defender of "artistry?"

Kanye,

First: you should have been pissed about Tenacious-D winning the Heavy Metal Grammy, that would have been legit and totally stage storm-able.

Second: if I were Jay Z, I'd have my driver fire up my limo and take my publicist assistant straight to your publicists office. After a lenghthy and strongly worded talk with her assistant's secretary, they would set up a time to tweet about your strange desire to defend my wife. Maybe over tennis at the club?

Seriously dude, she doesn't need your validation. If you're so concerned about artistry, you should explore other avenues than the biggest selling female recording artist of all time, douche.

For the record, no one listens to Beck. He's not even interesting enough to have won an elder statesmen status where wanna be hipsters claim they love him, yet never listen to him (like Elvis Costello or Black Flag), but you can't say he is not an artist. Beck may actually may be the only example of artistry at that entire shit show. 

Yet still, seeing you standing next to Beck on stage at the Grammys looked funny, I kinda wish you would have artistically slapped him. Then we would have something to laugh about.

And Beyoncé? Well, she has about as much relevance to artistry as Beck has to fashion. She is a vocalist and a dancer. She maintains an image and is paid well for it, but most of her art is created by others. She is a "recording artist," and at that she is gifted. She is also a mouthpiece for woman's rights, but songwriting, producing, arrangements, no.

Maybe there is an art to being a commercial diva, I'm just not sure what it is.

Let's not confuse one with the other. 

Regards,

Nago

PS: One last thing, whats a brother gotta do to get Taylor Swift to add him to that long list she's singing about? Oh wait, you wouldn't know. Never mind. Tell North I said "what's up," and if he answers "North," he's wrong, but give him a cookie for pondering geography and philosophy.

The Not Man Cometh!!!

Anthrax was a huge part of my youth. For some reason, I ventured out to see them live more than any other band in my early concert going days:

Headbangers Ball tour

     May 1st 1989 ( I was 14)

     Pittsburgh, PA

     Exodus / Helloween

Clash of the Titans tour 

     June 26 1991 

     Darien Lake, New York

     Megadeth / Slayer / Alice in Chains

Anthrax - Public Enemey

     October 2nd 1991 

     Pittsburgh, PA 

     Public Enemy / Primus / YBT

They were overall probably my favorite band behind Megadeth back then.

Dave Mustaine described the Clash tour bands as follows:

Megadeth: thinking mans metal

Slayer: slaytanic metal

Anthrax: cow diseased metal

At that time, that was accurate. They goofed off, and still shredded. "Indians" was the perfect metal song. As was the cover of Trust's "Antisocial". They had this melodic sensibility that was more Maiden than Motörhead, yet you could find them advertised on the bottom of skateboard decks, strangely linked to NY hardcore, wearing hip-hop shirts on stage, and jam shorts at photo shoots.

Anthrax was different, and I dug them for it. They didn't alienate me or my crew. We were all in. SOD was amazing, their rap mixes were game changers, they had the balls to sample Kinneson and Metallica, and the fact that they did not give 2 shits about what the "purists" thought appealed to me as a somewhat free thinker. 

From the moment I heard Armed and Dangerous till the Killer B's EP, I knew every step these guys took.

Attack of the Killer B's may actually be my favorite Anthrax moment overall. It was a joke, but it was my joke. I got it hook, line and sinker. It was perfect timing in my life. That summer, the only things I listened to were Killer B's and Skid Row's Slave to the Grind. 

Then things changed, both for me and them. In their time away, I became a father twice over. That was a little early for me, but the result has yielded nothing but good things in my life. Meanwhile, Anthrax shed their 80's sound and embraced a different direction in both approach and in John Bush's soulful vocal delivery. 

John Bush had one of elite voices in metal, and White noise is probably their best LP overall. "Only" is hands down, one of the best songs I've ever heard. Hefield said it was perfect, and I agree. 

I never saw Anthrax with Bush. The Belladonna era was my band. Not that I didn't respect them, but I was too busy screwing up a family to follow them hard core through the 90's. My taste was expanding by then, and Anthrax was off in another dimension. They seemed lost. I know I definitely was for a period of time.

Even though I was somewhat out of touch, I always kinda knew what they were up to via the metal rags, blabbermouth and Scott's constant media exposure.

Unfortunately, up until a few years ago, Anthrax was a band of constant dysfunction.

That would change at exactly the perfect time for me. With that, a new world of metalheads found themselves wanting a reality with Anthrax in it. Their comeback was not without bumps in the road, but it adds a human element in a strange sort of way. That's part of the appeal.

Yesterday, I read Scott Ian's book. I knew he wrote it. I assumed it would be ok. I figured it would include stories from his spoken word tour, which I missed, but I caught the jist of what it was about from podcasts. 

In this age, evey rocker has a book, it's pretty standard. Most of them suck. Lawyers and ghost writers take the piss out of them. There is not enough dirt. I personally find the "this is how I grew up" portions of each book to be some of the most boring shit I've ever had to endure... Just about every time I read a rock book, I'm disappointed.

Eddie trunk, of all people, convinced me to read Scott's book. Eddie tends to ramble in his new podcast, but if you can get through the first 20 minutes or so, it's pretty good. Anyway, he had Scott and Chris Jerico on talking about this book, and I pulled the trigger on it at Books-a-million in Ricmond, VA last Friday.

As usual, Scott Ian's book was different. It was great. I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions. I read his book in less than 24 hours, and that included a good nights sleep and an afternoon nap.

It answers almost every question I have had for years about his Band(s), and I found myself thinking that we could hang out. I don't think that about many rock stars. Call me arrogant, but rock stars don't do much for me. I don't get star struck, and the idea of kissing someone's ass just because they expect it doesn't appeal to me at all. I shared a Cigarette moment with John Baizley outside of Mr Smalls, and that was cool. I even had dinner a few seats down from Mikael Akerfeldt, pre-show at a bar in Millvale, PA, and opted to let him eat rather than bug the crap out of him. If I was ever to get all fanboy, those would have been the moments.

Digressing is my thing... Moving on.

The book was great, and I strongly recommend it for anyone who was ever even remotely into Scott's lengthy career. 

The only thing that is blatantly missing is any mention of Anthrax's short lived singer, Dan Nelson. Like zero mention at all. How that all went down, I'll never know, but he must have severely pissed off Scott who had no issue talking about all his issues with EVERYONE except Mr. Nelson.

I guess Scott had made the concious decision to end Dan's 15 minutes of fame permanently. It's no secret that Dan was the vocalist on the first draft of Worship Music (Anthrax's comeback LP), and somehow there was a falling out and he was either fired or released, who the hell knows, but Fuck that guy anyway. He was a bridge to get Belladonna back, so I'm great with his short lived tenure. I will say that his vocals on the cover of Refused "New Noise" probably made sense, lord knows Belladonna had no business touching that tune. 

But hey, Joey is great and needs no validation from anyone. He is the voice that I want fronting Anthrax. I don't even care that he calls the crowd "fuckers," (which is a pet peeve of mine) coming from Joey, it's like an old friend calling me a fucker (which I still wouldn't like). 

Note to frontmen: not everyone in the audience is a "fucker" and some of us aren't even "mother fuckers." A few of us are actually intelligent people that don't like the insult. We just like your tunes. Shut up and play them, mutherfucker.

I did see them again with Belladonna 2 years ago. They were just as great as ever. They were the band I remember. I bought Worship Music, and I think "I'm Alive" is a high point for the band regardless of the era. 

Scott, you have an Anthrax fan in me. I will buy what you release, even if it sucks. NOT. Make it great. Please and thank you.

The book was worth the money. Read it.

Nago

Sleepless in Tatooine

I'll admit it. I like Star Wars. I was the right age when it came out to have it be ingrained in my DNA. 

I was Luke Skywalker for Halloween when I was in 1st grade. It was a plastic mask stapled to a very flimsy rubber band and an orange plastic X-wing jump suit. I thought it was the coolest thing ever.

I had some action figures. I beat the hell out of them. In my defense, most of the battles they engaged in probably had an imaginative plot that oversaw the destruction of the evil planet of giant Barbies. You'd be surprised if you understood how little remorse Chewbaca had reeking havoc on the fragile limbs of my Sisters beloved Skipper. 

My friends and I snuck beer into the re-release of "A New Hope," and George Lucas emassed a portion of his fortune selling me re-mastered versions of his originals on both VHS and DVD. I also committed to the first 3 books released shortly after George licensed the rights, which subsequently was my first realization that a sub-culture of educated SW geeks existed, and was kinda cool. I actually bonded with a girl I hated over Star Wars.  

It should also be mentioned that every time I see the movie, I can't help but wonder how many innocent contractors died when the Death Star blew up (thanks Kevin Smith).

Like millions of others, I suffered through Episodes I through III, and I still find myself getting really pissed about the blatant disrespect and contradictions George tried to shove down the necks of a nerd culture he helped create. You don't mess with Star Wars, even if you did invent it.

On my birthday, I received a Wookie mug from my Neice. I secretly want to use it tomorrow morning for my coffee. I think I will.

Tonight, I introduced a toddler to the the original Star Wars, and as we were watching it, I came to the realization that it was kind of stupid. But I love it anyway. As a species, we tend to really love very stupid things, right? So I choose to continue to love Star Wars.

I'm cool with Disney taking over and franchising it. I like the idea of Mark Hamil getting to work again, and I am overly proud of Kerry Fisher for losing the weight to reprise her defining role. 

It's strange to care so much about such a silly thing. 

I'm going back to bed. Goodnight.

Nago.

A.D.H.D. and the Beatles. Pt IV

I've been thinking quite a bit about the fab 4 lately. Partially due to a hard earned category on Song Pop, partially because Paul is out doing press right now (and he was at the Super Bowl, the camera took the opportunity to show it) and partially because John poped up in my other blog last week.

Oh yeah, the SNL punchline "the Beatles ruined Yoko" had me lauging, and surprisingly enough, the news that Sam Smith is paying royalties to both Tom Petty and Jeff Lynn, who the latter was the only producer to work with the Beatles besides George Martin, also had me thinking about them.

I was in a class two weekends ago and the dude sitting next to me was geeking out to the Beatles, over my shoulder, as I was playing song pop. 

The Beatles are so cyclical in my life, especially when I have a ton of stuff going on. I guess it's supposed to be that way.

This is a real nowhere blog.

Cheerio.

Nago

Zakk makes Guitars (and other works of fiction)

I just read on Blabbermouth that Zakk Wylde is introducing his own brand of guitars, amps and accessories. This ends his decades long Gibson and Marshal endorsements. Weird...

I am in business. I realize that Zakk was probably approached by someone about making his signature brand, and I do not assume that he is in the manufacturing business. My best guess is that he is still only a figurehead of some sort.

In order to actually do something like that is a large undertaking. Design, engineering, materials, labor and so on was probably not done by Zakk in any form. He probably had some say in the final product, but did he design and build a guitar and amp? Hell no.

More then likely, they are built to the Gibson and Marshal specs with minor tweaks to avoid lawsuits. I have seen the pics, and they look basically identical to the products he used that bared his name. So why would anyone buy this guitar with a bullseye when there are plenty of them out there with a Gibson or Epiphone logo?

I honestly couldn't even begin to guess why anyone buys any signature series anything. You are paying for the signature. Not many artist's signature sound actually came from a signature guitar, except maybe the late great Eddie Van Halen (I know he is still alive), and Brian May.

Remember when Eddie was a God?

Both Brian and Eddie have great back stories in regards to their instruments. Eddie hand winding his pick-up coils to create the balls out "frankenstrat", and Brian building his beloved Red Special with his dad. Both legendary, both very much in the spirit of Rock and Roll.

So back to Zakk... Separating yourself from the big dogs takes balls. I still don't think its rooted in DIY, but I could be wrong. In a way, it makes perfect sense though. Zakk wanted a raise. A larger portion of the profit. Dr Dre figured this out when he introduced his "Beats" line of music accessories, and he netted millions and became the top earner in 2014 in the entertainment industry.

I only hope that Zakk is half the businessman that Dre is, I think it's time for the Metal community to have it's own mogul besides Gene Simmons, but again, who will buy these things?

By the way, Zakk did not invent the bullseye design...

A long time ago, when Domicile MK 1 was looking for a guitar player, we tried out this big dude who played like a generic version of Zakk. It was all pinch harmonics on the breaks and fills. What I remember the most about this guy is his absolute obsession with King Diamond. He couldn't believe that no one in Erie was interested in starting a King Diamond cover band.

He did not get the gig.

Point: I believe that guy will want a Zakk signature brand guitar, and I imagine he will be pissed when he finds out that no one in Erie will actually carry the brand. I really don't think that people are lining up to get their hands on one, but I could be wrong.

Here's a fact: I own (and love) an Epiphone '84 Explorer, which at one time was a Hetfield signature. I bought it because it's badass. I love it because it's badass. It had little to do with Hetfield, because at its core it's just a light Explorer with EMG Active pickups, but it's badass. I would not have bought it had it had a goofy Zakk Wylde bullseye on it any more then I would buy a guitar with a Twisted Sister goofy bullseye on it. I want to make my own name, and I want a Nago design plastered on the side of Eddie Ojeda's guitar, not the other way around.

I'm a poser. It's my thing.

Nago

The Curse of the Opening Act...

If you have ever known a musician in a local band, you have heard some garbage about how his/her group opened for some washed up shitty national band. Even my band partook in this right of passage, opening for Anvil, Pissing Razors and (almost) Soylent Green.

Guys, let me clear something up for you, those gigs suck huge balls. The only reason a local band is "asked" to do this is because your band wont cost them a red fucking dime. You'll give away the service for free just for the honor of opening up for Jack Russel's Great White (or whatever shit band is headed through your shit town), because now, you can lie and say that you guys actually opened for Great White, and just maybe, your band will bring heads through the door.

Also, nobody, and I mean NOBODY cares. People that wouldn't come and see you if they didn't know you especially don't care. They don't care about your band, and they really don't care that you landed the "Geoff Tate, voice of Queensryche" opening slot. People that actually know who Geoff is are typically only going to ask you if he is really that big of a dick, so be prepared for that.

And for fucks sake, it's 2015, don't brag about opening for L.A. Guns last year. I saw L.A. Guns open for AC/DC on the Razors Edge tour in front of a half empty pavilion and a dead empty lawn. If Pittsburghers didn't respect L.A. Guns enough to tear themselves away from the parking lot to actually watch them at the height of their 15 minutes of fame, why in the Hells Bell would they give a flying monkeys ass about your little band opening for them?

Here's the thing, if your band opens for Machine Head on an off night, that may impress me, but Machine Head doesn't need your dumb band, do they? They can drag anyone out with them, or be the Megadeth opener themselves. If you get the booking, you will be on at 5:30PM sharp, have horrible sound, 5 people in the crowd, and be wedged in between a Grindcore band & a Stoner Rock band with exactly 25 minutes to play + 5 minutes to load out. Is it really worth a 12 pack of PBR? I am certainly not coming to the Smiling Moose at suppertime on a Tuesday to watch you suck... I'd just assume eat at Pizza Milano and head to the Southside later to see the headliner.

Want a tip about something that I had to learn the hard way? Just because your band goes on last, doesn't mean you are the headliner. By 1:00 A.M, the band that had the 11:00 pm slot killed it and cut into your time. What's left of the crowd is drunk, you are drunk and so is your band. It's one in the morning and your going to work? Turn that gig down. Be polite, but refuse. You'll thank me later. Flemming Rasmussen is not going to be randomly walking past and insist on producing you. If it's your gig, don't put yourself on stage past 11:00 pm. Let some other idiot "headline".

This is not meant to be totally negative. If you have the opportunity to share a stage with one of your heroes making a comeback, or on the rise, that's different. There is a good way and a bad way to share the stage, and there are also different calipers of bands. You can spot the really genuine and talented people right away. I think you all know the guys I'm talking about, and their bands usually suck, they just don't know it.

Today's culture is very different then most others preceding it. A band or artist can stay relevant for 20+ years and still have appeal. There are hundreds of examples. That phenomenon is relatively new in pop culture, but not much has changed in 20 years that shook culture to it's foundations. Early on, culture changed overnight. Pop culture went from Peggy Sue to Aquarius in less then 10 years. From poodle skirts to naked hippies in less then a decade. Wow.

Think about this, Jerry Lee Lewis had his first hit in 1957. He banged and married his 14 year old cousin shortly thereafter and lost his fan base, but he continued to tour for the rest of his life (he's dead, right?). 20 years later Van Halen was playing clubs. Could you imagine VH opening up for Jerry Lee Lewis at the Whiskey in 1977?

There is a certain amount of paying dues that goes along with being in a band, and I take that into consideration. This situation is avoidable, but not always. I am not talking about all bands, just the bad ones. The ones that take any gig because they think it gives them cred.

In every situation, no matter what, the best always rise to the top and can stand on there own merit. Be that band. Pay your dues, then make Jerry Lee open for you, or put him on at 1:00 AM. Be so good that the world takes notice. That's my wish for you all on this Tuesday.

Nago

Of once and future Kiss.

 

 

As covered by every music news medium recently, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons have been drumming up attention by claiming that Kiss will continue after they retire. That's right, a band made up completely of replacement players wearing the Kiss make-up. A band with the official brand "Kiss" that has no actual members of the original Kiss.

Question:

Is the Brand "Kiss" bigger then the sum of its players?

Let's face it, if you just put 4 shitty wanna-be dudes in uniform and call it Kiss, its really just a cover band. It wouldn't work. I've already seen that version of Kiss at a corner bar in Erie, Pa. I believe they called themselves "Strutter." It's like Kiss without the pyro. A little sheet metal peppered with 40 watt light bulbs, a little grease paint on your fat face and.... BOOM, you could start this cover band in your home town.

Kiss was founded on mediocre hard rock, a goofy gimmick, and cheesy comic book mystique. The songs got better with Love Gun and Destroyer, the make-up and costumes also got better also, and a combination of the three is what made them sell like Budweiser on a Friday in Ohio. They dubbed themselves "The hottest band in the world," and for a minute, they actually were.

Then it all fell apart... Goodbye Ace and Peter, hello 1980's.

The rebuilding stage is where I came of age. From '84 to '92, Kiss was just another Metal Band of the day. They went from Stadiums to Hockey Arenas, but they survived. They were never reduced to dreaded "opening act," never revisited the bar scene, and always sold records. Like many a hessian, I learned their back catalog from old records and (then) current live VHS. Any shred of the original gimmick was kaput by the time I was a pre-teen. The make-up had long since come off, and they relied on actual good songwriting to carry the band forward.

That was the renaissance age for Kiss. Post make-up/pre acoustic convention shows Kiss. That was one hell of a band in my opinion. Of course I found out later that the band was a band in voice only as so many of the sessions were recorded by studio musicians, but whatever.  None of that seems to be a big deal to the Kiss Army, and how can "a million strong" be wrong? Really, it was a different beast by then, and replacement players were aplenty.

Fast forward another 10 years. The reunion. The band was back. The 4 that started it all. The hottest reunion in the world, Kiss.

The world was ready for Kiss to be a nostalgic act. We all cheered and bought tickets by the buckets, but this is also where the band and relevance part ways. They tried to capture the magic with the Psycho Circus LP (Great song, bad LP), which as it turns out, was recorded by scabs, but the suits and the public had moved on from Kiss as a 1-800-Dial-MTV hit machine. KISS was already in an adjustment phase, so the touring circuit was prime for the latest addition into the dinosaur rock band scene.

And today, to say Kiss is no longer relevant is an understatement so large that if you made a YouTube video out of it, Whitney Thore would look small in comparison. To really love these guys as a teenager means that you are nerdy. It's like loving Rush. There's a bunch of them out there, but its in small, fragmented pockets. None of their friends care, and most people think it's kinda weird.

If Kiss has any chance of making a run at a franchise that is relevant, they have to take some risks. Risk is no stranger to Gene and Paul. They have made a career out of it. Their ability to reinvent is pretty awesome overall, and we should all respect them for it.

So, how do you franchise Kiss without creating another Kiss cover band? Simple... You need to capture the youth. Get today's generation behind you. Put a middle finger in the face of the old school, and make it palatable to a new generation. No one under the age of 40 has heard Firehouse, and even if they did, they'd find it BORING! New material for a new, more in touch, class of kids.

Kiss may already be on to something in the right direction... Kiss vs. Momoiro Clover Z may prove to be the first relevant thing they have done in years. It's a step back toward the cheese that got them here in the first place.

My suggestion to Kiss: Stay with the Japanese Girl thing. Pass the torch to them.

Here's why: The land of the rising sun definitely has some claim to the Kiss image. Their whole gimmick is kinda pre-historic anime with a funky 70's samurai flare anyway. Girls sell records. Japan loves Kiss. Japanese pop is seeping through to Western culture these days, so the iron is hot. My only suggestion is maybe find some girls a tad bit older then this group, but Japan has it's own thing going on culturally. Is the Cat Man really that far off from Hello Kitty?

 

 

Like they say in business, start small and scale fast. Pepper the market with crap like this Momorio mash-up, then do another comic strip. Let the girls kill Gene off and take his essence (or something like that), then get out of the way. Let them create their own legacy and let the old dudes stay behind the scenes.

Make the characters replaceable. Like a Japanese Menudo, or a musical Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The 4 year old in my life, Peyton, has discovered Power Rangers on Netflix. She loves it. The producers continually cycle through actors, the story lines are basically the same, but it still has appeal to the kids. Peyton is a good resource for me to keep in touch with all things pre-school, and I find her Power Ranger stage to be a reminder of when my son, Mocha (now 20), was totally into the same darn thing. I am actively keeping one foot in the toy box, and one fist in the sky....

With that in mind, Gene Simmons should consider a legacy "Kiss" corporation that capitalizes on nostalgia, but is relevant today as well. Be the Disney of music. Fresh blood and new ideas, new music and a new spin your original "characters" idea. It may sound crazy, but I believe it could work for a new crop of fans unwittingly begging for the Kiss of tomorrow. Consider that no kid today gives a flying V about Dumbo, but they all know who Elsa is.

It just might work...

One last thing, why the hell is Kiss in the football business?



Nago