Flopallica - (Through the) Never recoup your Money

Since the release of The Mighty Metallica's 2013 movie Through The Never, I have been wondering how they manage to justify spending their proverbial "Fuck You" money on losing business proposals.

This box office flop was an anticipated follow-up to the monumentally horrible LULU LP. For me, no amount of time will ever shine a decent light on that turd. It is still un-listenable, and, as a blue collar (at heart) music fan, is a step worse then Kiss's "The Elder" experiment. I am sure it didn't mean squat to Lou Reed, who's catalog is filled with awful offerings. RIP Lou, you were a critic's wet dream and every hipster's modern poet, but you kinda sucked... I guess you were ironic? IDK... I put you up there with the Grateful Dead in my list of "I'll never understand the appeal" artists.

As for Through the Never, it's actually pretty good. They did not repeat the Kiss curse (Phantom of the Amusement Park). The plot is a little out there, but the footage is stellar and the sound quality, albeit "fixed" in the studio (we all know Larz can't really pull off magic Live), is very good. I LOVED the Live "Orion" as the credits rolled. I was so stoked to see that. It made me remember how important the band was and is.

Enough fanboy rantings, lets discuss the business end. I have no open window to Metallica's finances, but it was well documented that they funded this movie themselves. I take total liberty in reporting the following numbers based on crappy Internet information, but it is the only real info I have available to me at this juncture.

First, lets start with the movie budget. According to Box Office Mojo, the budget for this film was $18 Million Dollars. the movie grossed the following upon it's release (as according to The-Numbers.com):

Theatrical Performance
Domestic Box Office	$3,422,409
International Box Office	$5,662,939
Worldwide Box Office	$9,085,348
Home Market Performance
Domestic DVD Sales	$153,451
Domestic Blu-ray Sales	$760,605
Total Domestic Video Sales	$914,056

The international DVD sales are not listed, but I do believe that we, as a whole, are an educated population that utilizes YouTube. I also know that the knock-off market is much larger overseas. Is it safe to assume another 2 Million in sales internationally? Lets just go with that figure for shit and giggles. That still leaves a deficit of Approximately $6 Million Dollars!!!

Now the tricky part. Licensing. Breaking down the profit of the streaming services per each movie streamed is probably an advanced calculus formula that would make my eyes roll into the back of my head. Probably even worse for rental services (do they still exist outside of RedBox?).

I guess when you have the kind of money to throw around like Metallica does, you can afford a flop or two. Lets see what Celebrity Net Worth has to say about the money.:

• James Hetfield: $175 Million
• Lars Ulrich: $200 Million
• Kirk Hammett: $70 Million
• Robert Trujillo: $15 Million

Lars is worth more then James? That's crazy, but neither are starving. I don't even pretend to be upset about their riches. If anyone can make and keep money in the music industry, Bless 'em All.

So I guess they can afford a flop or two. Personally I'd take a shitty Metallica LP (Saint Anger) over a good Lou Reed LP (none of them) any day of the week. That's just the Metalhead in me talking. And for the record, Metallica does what Metallica wants, and I respect them for it. Anyone dissin' Re-Load never listened to Low Man's Lyric at midnight during a downswing of a bi-polar episode. Just sayin'.

For whom the nerd tolls,

Nago