If you have ever known a musician in a local band, you have heard some garbage about how his/her group opened for some washed up shitty national band. Even my band partook in this right of passage, opening for Anvil, Pissing Razors and (almost) Soylent Green.
Guys, let me clear something up for you, those gigs suck huge balls. The only reason a local band is "asked" to do this is because your band wont cost them a red fucking dime. You'll give away the service for free just for the honor of opening up for Jack Russel's Great White (or whatever shit band is headed through your shit town), because now, you can lie and say that you guys actually opened for Great White, and just maybe, your band will bring heads through the door.
Also, nobody, and I mean NOBODY cares. People that wouldn't come and see you if they didn't know you especially don't care. They don't care about your band, and they really don't care that you landed the "Geoff Tate, voice of Queensryche" opening slot. People that actually know who Geoff is are typically only going to ask you if he is really that big of a dick, so be prepared for that.
And for fucks sake, it's 2015, don't brag about opening for L.A. Guns last year. I saw L.A. Guns open for AC/DC on the Razors Edge tour in front of a half empty pavilion and a dead empty lawn. If Pittsburghers didn't respect L.A. Guns enough to tear themselves away from the parking lot to actually watch them at the height of their 15 minutes of fame, why in the Hells Bell would they give a flying monkeys ass about your little band opening for them?
Here's the thing, if your band opens for Machine Head on an off night, that may impress me, but Machine Head doesn't need your dumb band, do they? They can drag anyone out with them, or be the Megadeth opener themselves. If you get the booking, you will be on at 5:30PM sharp, have horrible sound, 5 people in the crowd, and be wedged in between a Grindcore band & a Stoner Rock band with exactly 25 minutes to play + 5 minutes to load out. Is it really worth a 12 pack of PBR? I am certainly not coming to the Smiling Moose at suppertime on a Tuesday to watch you suck... I'd just assume eat at Pizza Milano and head to the Southside later to see the headliner.
Want a tip about something that I had to learn the hard way? Just because your band goes on last, doesn't mean you are the headliner. By 1:00 A.M, the band that had the 11:00 pm slot killed it and cut into your time. What's left of the crowd is drunk, you are drunk and so is your band. It's one in the morning and your going to work? Turn that gig down. Be polite, but refuse. You'll thank me later. Flemming Rasmussen is not going to be randomly walking past and insist on producing you. If it's your gig, don't put yourself on stage past 11:00 pm. Let some other idiot "headline".
This is not meant to be totally negative. If you have the opportunity to share a stage with one of your heroes making a comeback, or on the rise, that's different. There is a good way and a bad way to share the stage, and there are also different calipers of bands. You can spot the really genuine and talented people right away. I think you all know the guys I'm talking about, and their bands usually suck, they just don't know it.
Today's culture is very different then most others preceding it. A band or artist can stay relevant for 20+ years and still have appeal. There are hundreds of examples. That phenomenon is relatively new in pop culture, but not much has changed in 20 years that shook culture to it's foundations. Early on, culture changed overnight. Pop culture went from Peggy Sue to Aquarius in less then 10 years. From poodle skirts to naked hippies in less then a decade. Wow.
Think about this, Jerry Lee Lewis had his first hit in 1957. He banged and married his 14 year old cousin shortly thereafter and lost his fan base, but he continued to tour for the rest of his life (he's dead, right?). 20 years later Van Halen was playing clubs. Could you imagine VH opening up for Jerry Lee Lewis at the Whiskey in 1977?
There is a certain amount of paying dues that goes along with being in a band, and I take that into consideration. This situation is avoidable, but not always. I am not talking about all bands, just the bad ones. The ones that take any gig because they think it gives them cred.
In every situation, no matter what, the best always rise to the top and can stand on there own merit. Be that band. Pay your dues, then make Jerry Lee open for you, or put him on at 1:00 AM. Be so good that the world takes notice. That's my wish for you all on this Tuesday.
Nago
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