Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Anti-Procrastination Anniversiary


S.O.D.'s "Speak English or Die" is turning 30, and it still makes me laugh like a stupid kid every time I hear it.

I am one of the lucky people that absolutely get the joke. I can only imagine how much fun it was to write, record and actually play the goofy songs that make up this unlikely masterpiece. I mean that, I absolutely love this album. I am not alone, droves of minions across the globe love it to.

It started, existed and ended mostly as a goof, but the 4 meatheads that made up S.O.D. had no clue how much impact this little side project would actually have. When they took it too seriously, it lost the piss that made it perfect.

The Stormtroopers of Death started as a dumb sketch, a few leftover riffs and a pile of bad lyrics meant to offend the easily offended. It was Scott Ian's way of cutting loose, and he recruited his goofball friends to round out his troupe during the downtime after recording Anthrax's second studio LP "Spreading the Disease."

Scott Ian: the Midget of Metal. Always goofy, and always working, Scott sketched out Sargent D, and wrote an album around this character. 

Billy Milano: a former Anthrax rodie and a NYHC kid who was the perfect voice for the offensive material that made up the project.

Danny Lilker: a true heavy metal underground legend who was a founding member of Anthrax (he was let go by original singer Neil Turbin), Nuclear Assault, and Brutal Truth.

Charlie Benante: Charlie beat, the beats, the beats you beat. He is the originator of the blast beat, and horribly underrated as a Metal drummer. He is also a very good guitar player and a monster songwriter.


These four blasphemous bastards cut Speak English or Die in 3 days, and it has haunted them ever since. This band was one of the first accidental side projects of Metal, and the first crossover Thrash band to make serious waves in the Punk and Metal worlds. 

The riffs are what make this pallet of offensive ramblings a legendary album in the metal world. It's just damn good mosh material. The album that was conceptually a joke just won't die. It eventually sold platinum. In a lot of ways, it's a happy accident in its popularity and impact.

I would love to compare this records sales to anything in the Anthrax catalog, but Anthrax has never released their sales numbers to the public. There are plenty of estimates out there, anywhere from 2 Million to 10 Million (combined sales of all albums). With that in mind, it is easy to say that Speak English or Die probably outsold much of the Anthrax catalog. Not bad for an afterthought side project.

Fact: there is an overdue remaster/rerelease coming in December. The material holds up, but the production does not. I really look forward to hearing this album with today's mastering levels blaring it out.

Rumor: A reunion tour. I believe this would be pretty easy to do if it wasn't for Billy Milano's big fat mouth. He works at a bar, and he is really bitter. To me, he is the luckiest SOB on the planet to have been tapped on the shoulder to front this monster, but it would t be as great without him, would it?

I'm not sure what he is mad about, the guy is a legend in certain circles. Maybe he is mad about the fortune side of the equation (and his lack of it?). Who the hell knows. His attitude problem is always part of the fun. Even during the reunion talks, he is already bashing his former band mates. I'm sure Scott Ian doesn't give any actual shits about Billy's "issues" with him or Charlie Benante. 

No one has to reunite, but a tour would be pretty cool to see. It will absolutely be the last time anyone will see this wonderful mistake of a band. Put me on the list!



Nago








No comments:

Post a Comment