After attending a Rob Zombie show here in Pittsburgh last Wednesday, I came home and dissed him pretty hard on Facebook. Not because he is a bad performer, no... he is an amazing performance artist. Not because his show was lame, no... it was as high energy as any show I have seen. I dissed Rob because of the music he puts out.
Before the Zombie fanatics come crawling out of their fantasy graves to feast on my inner skull, I would like to give some insight into my bashing.
I know that when it comes to some things I come off as an elitist jerk, and I am sure that is the case in regards to Rob Zombie. I mean no disrespect to Robas a person or as an artist. I really liked White Zombie back in the day. They were a beach party to me in a sea of grunge era depression.
For those of you who don't know the difference between Rob Zombie and White Zombie, you are not alone I am afraid. I can sum it up in a few words: Groove, Content and Material. You can't fake groove and it is really hard to re-create White Zombie's natural groove with hired guns. They pull it off OK live, but when it comes to the studio material, well, it really is an exaggerated version of Rob's gimmick mixed with what radio friendly White Zombie sorta sounded like.
It's impossible for me to talk about Rob without talking Alice Cooper (his hero and mentor).
Do you remember the time when Alice Cooper was great? Me neither. I was not even born when the classic line up, The Alice Cooper Band, belted out their Detroit fueled burners like "Billion Dollar Babies" and "Elected". The original band tearing shit up was 10+ years dead when I first saw the amazingly raw video for "18" on MTV's Closet Classics.
Alice Cooper broke up the Alice Cooper Band, but he kept the name. He went on to do some decent, yet mostly forgettable Solo LP's in the 70's (my personal fav being "Goes to Hell"), and some awful Platinum selling hair metal LP's in the 80's, and even dabbled in Metal in the 90's, but the fire that was The Alice Cooper Band has never been recaptured on wax. I guess I feel the same way about Rob Zombie.
I am not afraid to admit that I don't like Hellbilly Deluxe. At the time of it's release, I though it was a parody of White Zombie, and I still do today. I realize that Rob did not make that album for me. Rob made that album for 13 year old posers, strippers and meatheads.
I have nothing against 13 year old posers, strippers or meatheads. I used to be a 13 year old poser.
I respect Stripping (if you got it, don't mind showing it off and can keep your head on straight, I say "Get that money"). If you are thinking about taking to the stripping pole, then I strongly suggest dancing to anything by Rob Zombie. I saw it the other night, chicks like gettin' low and dirty to Rob Zombie. Half of that crowd were women, and half of them were dancing like it was their last chance to get their white girl moves on.
Meatheads, well somebody has to make me feel smart, right? You get no hate from me, it's not your fault your parents weren't very cool.
My wife and I were on the floor, about 7 or 8 rows from the stage, talking openly about what we thought Rob would play. When we got through the 4 songs we could name we were laughing about how unmemorable and sound alike most of Robs music is, and his constant use of the word "YEAH" (seriously....Rob, every sentence does not have to end with the word "Yeah"). Based on the look of shock I got from the kid standing next to me, I realized that this was not the forum for such banter. Once Rob started playing, this young man started jumping up and down like a retarded bunny. It was quite funny, but as an old dude, I had to retreat to calmer waters by the third song to avoid a severe case of the Imgonnafuckhisshitup's, a medical condition that creates a violent reaction in old dudes like me.
We found ourselves ready to leave shortly after Rob split the venue in two for some audience participation. Half the crowd was told to scream "Rock", and the other half "Motherfucker". I am not sure if anyone really bought that. It was a little embarrassing for him. I found myself thinking "Dude, play your hits", but then he played the song "Sick Bubblegum" that included the chant "Rock Motherfucker"... Who knew? Certainly not me. Was that a hit?
We did leave early, but I have been known to do that to avoid traffic. I have to say it again, Rob is a fantastic performer with a high energy show. The actual show was very cool despite his cheesiness, his music is just not my thing. That said I saw a video posted of my bro's local cover band playing Superbeast yesterday, and it rocked. They played it with so well that for a second I thought maybe Rob is just over my head or under my radar.....................But then I remembered the animated movie "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto", and thought, "nope". Rob is lucky to have a band of that caliper cover that song.
Torture-porn/Slasher film Rob: I think Rob is amazing. He somehow got House of 1000 Corpses made, same with that his disturbing movies The Devil Rejects and the Halloween re-makes. Can you imagine that sales pitch: "yeah, so its kinda like every other slasher movie from the '70's, only gorier". He helped launch the current Torture-Porn trend and he might actually transcend it at some point. I look forward to someday seeing his movie equivalent to the album Educated Horses.
Wow... I just read through this blog, and I realize that I do sound like an elitist jerk. For that I can only say this: keep doing what you do, Rob. I am the ultimate love/hate fan. I like your live action movies, hate your animated movie, like White Zombie and hate your solo work. I also love your commentary on Sam Dunn projects. The quote "I'd like to meet the guy who says : I remember that one summer when I was into Slayer" is worth watching the entire movie "A Headbanger's Journey".
Lastly, I dig the Zombie persona. You look way cool and I dig theatrics.
Here is some classic White Zombie to bob your head to:
Dig through the ditches and Nerd through the witches
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