Grace is gone...

A week ago, I was sent a link to a Dave Mathews song that I was unaware of. The song is beautiful, and I was moved by the emotion in the vocal. It's a song about dying I think, but metaphorically I find a complete other meaning in it's lyric. In my mind, it’s a place I have been, and it’s definitely relatable, even more recently than I care to admit to the world. It’s funny how impactful brief moments can be, and how much regret can be stirred up in short amounts of time. Dave captured the sadness in a very eloquent way, even though I don’t necessarily subscribe to drinking away a problem (in my experience, I’ve never solved a single issue drinking, only created more… I digress), it's the romanticism of the theme that makes the message powerful.

Interestingly enough, had it not been recommended to me, I never would have heard it. I basically don’t follow Dave Mathews at all for the most part. It’s nothing personal, and I know he is great, it’s just never been my cup of tea. However, I do have a Dave Mathews story:

On June 2^rd of 2015. I was sitting at an Outback with a (former) co-worker just south of Montgomery, Alabama. It was early, like 5:00 PM or so, we were bored, and still had two nights to go on the work trip.

Now, I have been known to go out on occasion, and when traveling I have my Song Kick app on standby just in case. I pop the app open, and it turns out that Dave Mathews is playing 2 hours away in Tuscaloosa the next night. We buy tickets and go… Dave Mathews just happened to be one of his favorite artists, and I figured “why not?”

So, 26 hours later I find myself at an outdoor amphitheater watching Dave Mathews play 2 sets. 1 acoustic, and one electric. Right away I was stoked because Emma Lou Harris was there that night, and came out with Dave during both sets, beyond that, I knew basically nothing they played.

It was a “deep cut” tour for the hardcore fans (I’m paraphrasing here), but definitely not designed for the fair weather. Keep in mind I was at this show with a huge fanboy. He wanted to be in the mix on the floor as close as possible. I didn’t last down there long.

So I wandered. I met a few people, had some interesting conversations and just generally enjoyed the Alabama late spring night with Dave Mathews blaring in the background. I may have actually blogged about the Misfits while in attendance at the show (ok, I absolutely blogged about the Misfits while attending the show – here is the link: http://nerdyrocksnob.blogspot.com/2015/06/island-of-misfit-toys.html )

From there the story gets dumb. I dropped my wallet in the parking lot. I have been using a front pocket wallet for a few years now, and this one had a broken clip. I realized that I dropped it when we got back to Montgomery, and made my co-worker drive back to the venue (over 2 hours away) to fetch it. He reluctantly did so, and I found it. By the time we got back to Montgomery, it was well after 4AM.

Getting back to the song. It’s moving and lyrically perfect. On first listen I felt my chest sink. That’s a good sign (being a big damn softie most of the time and all). The third time I heard it, the song was played for me solo by a new (and already dear) friend, and her delivery broke my heart. The intimacy of the song cut right through me. Again, the theme of the song is a familiar place better left behind when interpreted a certain way.

There is a grace in life. Sometimes people have an impact beyond their intention, even if the impact is taking away grace for a moment. I've regrettably done it to others as well. Life isn't perfect, I hope to give more than I take daily. That's the target condition. 

Nago