Friday, February 27, 2015

Vulcan Immigration Reform


Remember at the end of the Lord of the Rings when all of the elves and Bilbo left middle-earth in the boat never to return? I'm totally thinking that they went to Vulcan.

That's right. I'm saying it right here and now. Vulcans are really elves. I mean, come on, there are too many similarities to be ignored. They have magic, they are logical and they have pointy ears.

Saying that the elves immigrated to Vulcan at some point is perfectly logical to me. What confuses me are the Elves at the North Pole.

I have a theory on them as well.

Bilbo left with the elves, there is no question of that. We also know that elves can breed with humans. It's safe to say they can breed with Hobbits also.

Bilbo impreganted an elf. That must be what happened. The species that resulted from this elf / hobbit hybred didn't fit in on Vulcan, and were banished into slavery to Santa Clause, who is also Vulcan, but insane (the jolly old elf). 

They now exclusively assist with the making of toys to give to children on the winter solstice, and the bad ones are sent to the mines to gather coal. Both of which are illogical for pure bred Vulcan Elves, but perfect for Hobbit hybrids, or as they are referred to on Vulcan "little elves".

Need more proof? Spock singing the Bilbo Baggins song in the car commercial. Point, set, match.

As far as the Keebler Elves, well, they don't really exist. Those cookies are made in a factory. Don't be dumb.

One last thing: Spock isn't dead. His essence is in McCoys head and his childhood body is on Genesis. Everybody knows that.

RIP Leonard.

Nago


1 comment:

  1. I had a massive comment that took 5 minutes to write... when I hit preview it magically disappeared. Just my luck.

    ReplyDelete