Saturday, December 8, 2012

Morrison's Hotel is dumpy, but do stop for a drink.


Sorry if the title offends. VH1 Classic is doing some Doors thing today in honor of Jim's Birthday, and I am too much of a nerd to not weigh in. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a very big Doors fan. I share the opinion that the best thing that happened to them was Jim dieing before his time, making himself a martyr and the rest of the Doors rich (with all due respect to the dead, of course).

I take issue with Jim's psycho babble "poetry". I mean, Street Pizza?, c'mon people.

Jim was stoned. I bet you came up with some far out shit when you were high too. The crystal ship...man...think about it bro....far out.

As far as Jim's legendary status goes, I get it. It's a good story. But I am older now, and I realize that a drunken stoned idiot, regardless of his stardom, is still a drunken stoned idiot. Be that as it may we still idolize stars like Jim, and when they slip up, we crush them with gossip columns and TV coverage, then we move on to the next clown.

Can you imagine Jim Morrison with a Twitter account?

Don't get me wrong, The Doors were a popular band and deservedly so. I don't think they were a fluke. My biggest problem with the Doors is the over saturation of that damn organ and the drawn out songs. I want to shoot the unknown soldier myself by the time that song is all over. It is just awful.

HOWEVER: When that band put down the pipe, picked up some beer and upped the tempo, they were awesome.


Peace Frog: This song shows the Doors rocking. Over the years it has grown some teeth with the dreaded "rock radio" programmers club, but rightfully so. It rocks.



Roadhouse Blues: I have a soft spot for this tune due to a resurgence of it's popularity when I was a teenager. That said it is a shining example of how good the Doors really were.


LA Woman: If any song is worth the hype, it's LA Woman. Like it or not, it is great vinyl for it's time.


If a Doors LP would would find it's way into my collection, it would probably be LA Woman. Riders on the Storm (side 2, track 5) is worth the purchase all by itself, even if it is over my head lyrically.

One final note: The Doors are an aquired taste, and with any aquired taste, you have to pick and choose what you like about it. Door's fans (past, present and future) who buy completely in? I say good for you for being left of the dial. I would not want a world without variety. Just be safe with your intake.






When the music's over, nerd out the lights...


Friday, November 30, 2012

Cover the world in Green.


Peter Green was the creme de la creme of British Blues-Rock guitarists from the 1960's "Guitar God" era. BB King and Eric Clapton both hold him in high regard. Countless others have sung his praises over the years, and yet countless more have no idea who the hell he is, even if they unwittingly know his material.

Peter's art is something special to me though. When I was in my mid 20's, his music spoke to me from a dark place spiritually. His best material bleeds with a heaviness that tears at my soul to this day. He was coming from a different perspective than his contemporaries of that era. Very few really executed dark and heavy material as well as Peter did in the late 60's.

When I first discovered Peter, it was the late '90's and thirty years after Peter introduced his blues band to the world. I admit, I never would have known his genius were it not for a Fleetwood Mac box set ordered through Columbia House, but when I saw that Peter was the sole writer of Black Magic Woman, it sparked my interest enough to give the early years a listen.

Before I dissect his material, there is something I should mention for those not in the know: In 1967, Peter Green founded Fleetwood Mac, a little band that broke every LP sales record known in 1977. It's drummer Mic Fleetwood and bassist John McVie were the only mainstay members from Peter's original group, but the iconic band of the '70's rise to international fame is another story entirely. Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac had some impact in the UK in the late '60s (his star shines brighter still across the pond than here in the USA), but the real breakthrough success was not going to happen with Peter, as he quit his band.

Yes, Peter quit the Mac (and music almost entirely) in 1970. That was 5 years before the aquisition of Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks that led Fleetwood Mac to super stardom. Why did Peter quit? Because he went LSD bat-shit crazy. Hey, it happens. There is a thin line between genius and insane, or so they say.

Peter came back to the land of sanity in the '90's, and even started a band featuring Cozy Powell. They released 9 LP's under the name Peter Green Splinter Group. Unfortunately, by the time he finally came back, his ship had sailed many moons prior without him aboard. It is hard to create second chances in life, and you have such a small window in the Music biz anyway. Oh well.

Enough about that, for the sake of keeping this short, I am moving on to the music, but only looking at three selections. Not by coincidence, they are three of the most covered, coveted and copied of Peter's catalog:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Green Manalishi:


I'll say it, and let it float out there. With all due respect, Judas Priest butchered this song. The sped up gnt..gnt..gnt..gnt.. JP signature makes this beast sound radio and the 16th notes on the high hat is borderline disco. Oh, I'll admit, this version kicks ass... but it's not really supposed to kick ass, is it? Worst yet, the signature line "cause you're the Green Manalishi with a two pronged crown" makes very little sense coming from Rob Halford.

Peter Green's original Green Manalishi is Hammer of the Gods heavy. It's evil and doomy. It's honest and did not need any "Metal Treatment". For you metal elitists getting ready to aim some strongly worded mud at me for calling out JP, I say this: Judas Priest does not really need this song (they have more "staples" then, well, Staples), nor do they need Diamonds & Rust or Johnny B Good.

It's simple math: Judas Priest > Cover Tunes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh Well:


I have heard many covers of this song, none of which even comes close to Peter's, except for the one that kinda does. It is a live tribute sung and played by Lindsey Buckingham while fronting Fleetwood Mac. The rest, well, I get it, but it's tough to re-capture magic.

General rule of thumb: don't cover stuff just because the lyrics are cool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Black Magic Woman:


I almost hate to admit this: I really don't like Santana's version very much. I respect Santana, but more for his calculated resurrection in 1999 than his classic version of this song. However, when I hear the forgotten Fleetwood version, I almost forget the former. The original is a stripped down blues tune with swing. The lyric is witty. Gone is the over embellished keyboards and trippy dippy hippie-ness.

From a nerds perspective Santana's production is light years better, but sometimes sub-par producing adds character. Peter's delivery speaks for itself.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe Perry, Billy Gibbons, BB King, Tom Petty and many others covered Peter's music. Peter's art is loved by his peers, and he has gotten huge recognition over the years by the rock community. I am sure he will remain under the radar to the masses however, and quite frankly, thats where I like him.

Peter's story is a great read. Fleetwood Mac's story is a better one. Big props to Mic and John for keeping that beast together. Little known fact: Nago loves the Mac in most of it's incarnations. Peter Green and Lindsay Buckingham are both in my top 10 guitar players list, and Mic Fleetwood may be the most underrated Rock drummer of all time (save one Louie Rice).

Go Green.......


Baby stop nerdin 'round, you're nerdin' round all the time.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Edison versus Tesla in the first person: A musical.

I
Bon Scott
1946 - 1980
I would like to start this blog with a disclaimer: I DIG BON SCOTT. If you think that the following exercise in the obvious is in anyway disrespecting the deceased, then you need to punch yourself in the a-hole as hard as you can. Think about that for a minute.... Ouch, and really???

That's how Bon would want it. Difficult, destructive, fun, painful, confusing and just damn crazy.

Bon Scott is one of my favorite rock stars for several reasons. He was anti-everything. He was the opposite of a rock star. He was a perverted silly drunk, and the baddest muther to ever grace vinyl. He was older than the other kids in the band, yet he absolutely understood what they needed to portray. Neigh, he portrayed himself into that band. Converting them from another heavy blues band, into the monster they became. Yet Bon was too cool to hang around to reap the rewards. Like the best rock starts, he burned out before he faded away.

Bon's voice, as nontraditional as it was, complimented the distorted 3 open chord 4/4 back drop that was AC/DC. The 70's AC/DC was amazing (and I don't throw that word around lightly). That band, with all of it's short comings musically, was the complete package. Gimmick, Sound & Attitude + the ability to burn a hole in a stage live, made for a perfect storm that is something we don't see anymore.  It just doesn't exist... Not even AC/DC is that good anymore.


Ahh.... Yes. He was great, but this a study into the first person. 
As great as Bon Scott was, his songwriting consisted of scattered moments of brilliance combined with some seriously delusional self image fantasy that would make Twain proud.

I picture a 70's AC/DC band meeting going something like this:

Angus: Ok lads, I have this riff... (strumming A..E.. E...D) whaddaya think?
Bon: I like it, I have some lyrics, whaddaya think about: "I'm a candy dealer, dealing shit to your little girl..."
Malcom: Um... It's good Bon, but maybe you could be something else?
Bon: Ok, yeah... How about this: "I'm a wheel, rolling over the road, to you honey...And I'm shiney..."
Malcom: Uhhhh... Not really what I was thinking. Do you fancy any other lyrics?
Bon: Ok, yeah, it's rough but how about "I'm a gorilla man, raping your boot..."
Angus: NO MATE!!!!!
Bon: Um, ok I could change it to "Ice Scraper"?
Malcom: No... but almost?
Bon: "Night prowler?"
Angus: Yes, Bon! Be a Night Prowler for phucks sake!!!!

You know what though, I love him for it. Bon had imagination. Lets dive into it, shall we? I want to list everything Bon was or was going to do:
  • I Wanna be a Rock and Roll Singer
  • I'm a Live Wire
  • I'm TNT
  • I'm a Rocker
  • I've got Big Balls
  • I'm a Problem Child
  • I'm gonna Ride On
  • I'm going in, to Sin City
  • I'm on the highway to hell
  • I'm gonna walk all over you
  • I'm a love hungry man
  • I'm a night prowler
Honorable mentions (because they own):
  • Gimme a bullet to bite on, and I'll make believe it's you (note: that's effin brilliant)
  • I've been up to my neck in pleasure, up to my neck in pain, up to my neck on the railroad track, waiting for a train (that is so badass).
Bon is not the only songwriter guilty of over playing the first person. If time had gone on, I am sure the handlers would have put him to task over it, and I think he would have thumped them for it. I've often thought that Bon's over the top personality was probably an issue for his band mates, but I have done zero reading into the functions of the band in the '70's, and to tell you the truth, it's a stone better left unturned by me. 

Besides, Bon spent many hours crafting his self image via pad and pencil, far be it for me to look beyond his body of work.


Lastly, Ride On... It's somber tune, and probably the closest thing AC/DC ever did to a ballad. It is still one of my favorite Bon Scott moments, and it means a lot to me on a spiritual level.



Nago




It's a long way to the top, if you wanna be a nerd.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Can a Zombie be cool? Sometimes, I guess.


After attending a Rob Zombie show here in Pittsburgh last Wednesday, I came home and dissed him pretty hard on Facebook. Not because he is a bad performer, no... he is an amazing performance artist. Not because his show was lame, no... it was as high energy as any show I have seen. I dissed Rob because of the music he puts out.

Before the Zombie fanatics come crawling out of their fantasy graves to feast on my inner skull, I would like to give some insight into my bashing.

I know that when it comes to some things I come off as an elitist jerk, and I am sure that is the case in regards to Rob Zombie. I mean no disrespect to Rob as a person or as an artist. I really liked White Zombie back in the day. They were a beach party to me in a sea of grunge era depression.

For those of you who don't know the difference between Rob Zombie and White Zombie, you are not alone I am afraid. I can sum it up in a few words: Groove, Content and Material. You can't fake groove and it is really hard to re-create White Zombie's natural groove with hired guns. They pull it off OK live, but when it comes to the studio material, well, it really is an exaggerated version of Rob's gimmick mixed with what radio friendly White Zombie sorta sounded like.

It's impossible for me to talk about Rob without talking Alice Cooper (his hero and mentor).

Do you remember the time when Alice Cooper was great? Me neither. I was not even born when the classic line up, The Alice Cooper Band, belted out their Detroit fueled burners like "Billion Dollar Babies" and "Elected". The original band tearing shit up was 10+ years dead when I first saw the amazingly raw video for "18" on MTV's Closet Classics.

Alice Cooper broke up the Alice Cooper Band, but he kept the name. He went on to do some decent, yet mostly forgettable Solo LP's in the 70's (my personal fav being "Goes to Hell"), and some awful Platinum selling hair metal LP's in the 80's, and even dabbled in Metal in the 90's, but the fire that was The Alice Cooper Band has never been recaptured on wax. I guess I feel the same way about Rob Zombie.

I am not afraid to admit that I don't like Hellbilly Deluxe. At the time of it's release, I though it was a parody of White Zombie, and I still do today. I realize that Rob did not make that album for me. Rob made that album for 13 year old posers, strippers and meatheads.
  • I have nothing against 13 year old posers, strippers or meatheads. I used to be a 13 year old poser.
  • I respect Stripping (if you got it, don't mind showing it off and can keep your head on straight, I say "Get that money"). If you are thinking about taking to the stripping pole, then I strongly suggest dancing to anything by Rob Zombie. I saw it the other night, chicks like gettin' low and dirty to Rob Zombie. Half of that crowd were women, and half of them were dancing like it was their last chance to get their white girl moves on.
  • Meatheads, well somebody has to make me feel smart, right? You get no hate from me, it's not your fault your parents weren't very cool.
My wife and I were on the floor, about 7 or 8 rows from the stage, talking openly about what we thought Rob would play. When we got through the 4 songs we could name we were laughing about how unmemorable and sound alike most of Robs music is, and his constant use of the word "YEAH" (seriously....Rob, every sentence does not have to end with the word "Yeah"). Based on the look of shock I got from the kid standing next to me, I realized that this was not the forum for such banter. Once Rob started playing, this young man started jumping up and down like a retarded bunny. It was quite funny, but as an old dude, I had to retreat to calmer waters by the third song to avoid a severe case of the Imgonnafuckhisshitup's, a medical condition that creates a violent reaction in old dudes like me.

We found ourselves ready to leave shortly after Rob split the venue in two for some audience participation. Half the crowd was told to scream "Rock", and the other half "Motherfucker". I am not sure if anyone really bought that. It was a little embarrassing for him. I found myself thinking "Dude, play your hits", but then he played the song "Sick Bubblegum" that included the chant "Rock Motherfucker"... Who knew? Certainly not me. Was that a hit?

We did leave early, but I have been known to do that to avoid traffic. I have to say it again, Rob is a fantastic performer with a high energy show. The actual show was very cool despite his cheesiness, his music is just not my thing. That said I saw a video posted of my bro's local cover band playing Superbeast yesterday, and it rocked. They played it with so well that for a second I thought maybe Rob is just over my head or under my radar.....................But then I remembered the animated movie "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto", and thought, "nope". Rob is lucky to have a band of that caliper cover that song.

Torture-porn/Slasher film Rob: I think Rob is amazing. He somehow got House of 1000 Corpses made, same with that his disturbing movies The Devil Rejects and the Halloween re-makes. Can you imagine that sales pitch: "yeah, so its kinda like every other slasher movie from the '70's, only gorier". He helped launch the current Torture-Porn trend and he might actually transcend it at some point. I look forward to someday seeing his movie equivalent to the album Educated Horses.


Wow... I just read through this blog, and I realize that I do sound like an elitist jerk. For that I can only say this: keep doing what you do, Rob. I am the ultimate love/hate fan. I like your live action movies, hate your animated movie, like White Zombie and hate your solo work.  I also love your commentary on Sam Dunn projects. The quote "I'd like to meet the guy who says : I remember that one summer when I was into Slayer" is worth watching the entire movie "A Headbanger's Journey".

Lastly, I dig the Zombie persona. You look way cool and I dig theatrics.


Here is some classic White Zombie to bob your head to:







Dig through the ditches and Nerd through the witches







Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Big Mega History... The where's and whens.


May 16th will mark the 8th time I have seen Megadeth live. That is kind of crazy. It is also over a 20+ year span, so it is not like I followed them Grateful Dead style. To tell you the honest to god truth, they really aren't that great live, or maybe it's better to say that they are not very animated, and Dave's voice is pretty much shot at this point. BUT for me, being at a Megadeth concert is more than going to see an amazing live show, it is about celebrating the band that helped mold me and supporting a hero of mine.

I often say that I don't get star struck, and that is mostly true. Once at the Airport, directly behind me on the escalator, was Hines Ward. I was completely tongue tied as I stared directly at him. Angi and I both did not know what to say, and I honestly think that was the only time I can remember being absolutely wordless in someones presence. So maybe I was star struck, but I think maybe I was just shocked to see him that close up. All I kept thinking was "damn, that phucker is small in person" and "wow, that is a big diamond earring".


One of my music heros was eating at the same local bar Angi and I were at before a concert one night, and I just let him eat. I kind of regret that now, because I may not ever get the opportunity to thank him or just let him know how much his music means to me, but at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. Mikael Akerfeldt, if I ever get the opportunity to meet you again, I am going to make you sign my frontal lobe.



My point.... If Dave Mustaine and I ever met, I am sure I would go directly into idiot mode and trip over my tongue. Dave is the exception to my "starstruck" rule. That dude is a demi-god to me. I would feel like a 3rd grade math teacher waxing poetic with T S Eliot.

Nice intro, eh?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

The meek shall inherit the earth....Big Time.

Hate is a strong word.....I hate your group.

In searching for tickets to see Rush recently, I was annoyingly re-directed to a group called Big Time Rush on more than one ticket search engine. I was shocked to see that this flavor of the millisecond group existed, but even more shocked to see that they were selling out arenas. That's right, arenas.

Far be it from me to deprive teenage girls of their poster fodder, but in the back of my head I am thinking that for every 12 year old girl screaming bloody hell for some fantasy figure in her pinkest dream, there is probably some shitty AC/DC fan guy standing next to her. This dude is ready to deny that he was there with his crazy daughter, BUT he is a hella "dad of the year" for stomaching a torture worse than water boarding.



Best part: Floor seats are $65.00 before service fees. Poor bastard, shelling out at least $150.00 for that crap. Worse yet, he probably has to buy a t-shirt, a snap bracelet, and a hoodie on his way out, not to mention ice cream afterward. He might as well take $250.00 and light it on fire, because his lovely daughter will be into goth next year.

Big Time Rush.... That is some funny shit. Had I actually kept up with every "boy band" since NKOTB, I would take the 2 days I would need to list them all on a 30 page blog. However, I can't even begin to know much about that trend at all. Sure, there are the survivors: Mark Wahlberg and Justin Timberlake (no problem finding careers after boy band roots), but the vast majority of these dudes end up on smack after their short 10 seconds of fame, so why bother learning their names?

We are all guilty of liking some crap at one time or another (I had a White Lion T-Shirt when I was 14), but this pre-packaged Nickelodeon stuff totally escapes me, save Yo Gabba Gabba ('cause I dig that show).



In case you were wondering, I successfully scored Rush tickets (Section 101, Row Q, Seats 1 and 2).



So I leave you with some classic Rush:



The nerd is, the nerd is - Love and life are deep
Maybe as his skies are wide

Friday, May 11, 2012

Quit dissin the Purple people.


How the hell is Deep Purple not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

I'll go one step further: They have never even been nominated. That's right, not even once.

Before I digress into how Rush has also never been nominated, or how Kiss gets shunned every year, I want to focus on Deep Purple.

I'll start by losing focus and listing some of the many artists that ARE in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:

Beastie Boys - 2012
Red Hot Chili Peppers - 2012
Guns and Roses - 2012
ABBA - 2010
Metallica -2009
Run DMC - 2009
Madonna - 2008
John Melloncamp - 2008
Grand Master Flash -2007
REM - 2007
Patti Smith Group - 2007
Van Halen - 2007
Sex Pistols - 2006
Blondie - 2006
Lynyrd Skynyrd - 2006
Pretenders - 2005
U2 - 2005
Prince - 2004
AC/DC - 2003
The Clash - 2003
Tom Petty - 2002
Talking Heads - 2002
Ramones - 2002
Aerosmith - 2001
Queen - 2001
Michael Jackson - 2001
Earth Wind and Fire - 2000
and so on........

I mention the above artists for various reasons, some because they are technically not Rock and Roll of any kind, some because they were influenced by Deep Purple, some because they have no reason being in before Purple, but all because Deep Purple predates them...

Building a case:

  • Exhibit A: Smoke on the Water

Deep Purple should be in the hall of fame on the back of Smoke on the Water alone. That song was the first riff ever played by MILLIONS of souls driven to play guitar. It is one of the most recognizable riffs ever created.

Smoke on the water holds a Guinness World Record for the most guitarists playing at one time (or something like that) and has actually broken the record 3 times since setting it in 1994. The most recent was in 2009 in Wroclaw Poland, when 6,346 guitar players gathered to play the song together.

The song itself was a pretty basic 4 note blues riff that Ritchie Blackmore (writer - guitar player) has dissed as "too commercial". I guess the commercial appeal of the song speaks for itself.

Released on the bands LP, Machine Head in 1972, and as a single in 1973, the song reached # 4 in the States, #2 in Canada, #21 in the UK and #20 in Germany.... Not to shabby.

  • Exhibit B: Machine Head

One of the most beloved early metal/classic rock albums of all time, it reached # 7 in the Billboard LP Charts, and stayed in the top 200 for 118 weeks after it's release in 1972.
This gem features Smoke On the Water, Highway Star and Space Truckin'. 3 Staples of Rock music that define an era.
It is the 3rd album of the MK 2 version of the band, which could arguably be the version that gets into the House that Rock Built with no resistance.

  • Exhibit C: Eligibility

Deep Purple released it's first LP in July 1968 making them eligible for nomination in 1993 (25 years after the release of their 1st album as according to the Hall of Fame guidelines).


  • Exhibit D: Ritchie Blackmore

This man invented neo-classical modern rock guitar, period. When Clapton and Page were wanking to Robert Johnson, Blackmore was studying Beethoven. His playing inspired millions. His style was imitated by the likes of everyone from Uli Jon Roth to Malmsteen to basically everyone in Modern Prog music, especially of the Scandinavian variety.

Oh yeah, he wrote the most Iconic rock riff of all time.



Blackmore led Purple to heights most bands never will see, including co-headlining the Cal Jam in 1974 to 400,000 fans.

Acts that performed at the '74 Cal Jam in order of appearance:
Every one of these bands should be in the hall for playing to 400,000 fans at one time in 1974. Call it the "Holy Shit" award or something. To date, only Earth Wind & Fire, Eagles and Black Sabbath are in the Hall of Fame.


Cal Jam may get it's own blog soon. I would love to find footage of Seals & Croft singing "Summer Breeze" to 1/2 million Sabbath fans.

If you find the YouTube bootleg footage of the GnR RnR HoF induction speech, Steven Adler actually calls out the Hall for not inducting Purple. That part of the speech was edited out of the HBO version. The executive producer was JannWenner. No surprise there, you elitist pig.

I would actually make the argument that Ritchie Blackmore could be in the Hall of Fame on his name alone.

The fact that this band has been ignored is stupid. Jann Warner, you are an asshole. Not only does Purple belong, they helped make Rock and Roll a respected art form. They brought classical music to Rock (with all due respect to Beatles producer George Martin's solo in "In My Life").

Just to recap..... Deep Purple is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. WHAT????

Until next blog.


Nerdin' at your back door.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Everything fits at Paul's Boutique


Kinda bummed about the passing of MCA. I knew he had cancer, I noticed he missed the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony, but I couldn't buy into a world without the Beastie Boys, so I did not research how bad he was.

Beastie Boys came along when I was pretty young and impressionable, but I honestly didn't think that highly of License to Ill when I was 12. It was too radio cheesy and I always felt like it was missing music or something. I understand how ground breaking that LP was, but it was not my cup of tea back then (still isn't).

My love of the Beasties came along later.  It wasn't until 1994 that I took notice of a matured, grown up Beastie Boys taking their game to the next level. I loved what I heard and I respected what they became. What I didn't know at the time is that while I was by ignoring them, they had already released what has grown to become my favorite Beastie Boys LP, 5 years before 1994's Ill Communication took the world.

Very few bands can transcend their roots they way they did. The Beastie Boys can be as Hip Hop as they want, and they still get new rock radio cred. High schoolers (the cool ones) love them, college kids love them, old dudes (like me) love them, the old school hip-hop crew gives them a nod and just about every walk of life has some Beastie in it. Their influence goes beyond music with their charitable work and work in independent film and directing (all championed by MCA).

Timing is everything. The Beastie Boys hit it out of the park at least twice in regards to timing. 1986 and 1994 cemented their superstardom. Timing could not be any more perfect then the two respective LP's released those years. License to Ill and Ill Communication cemented them as legends.

For just a minute however, I want to focus on their 2nd album, 1989's Paul's Boutique. It's brilliant. Maybe not their best work in everyone's opinion, but hands down my favorite. It was released at a time when sampling was done without regard to artistry, but the Beasties and the Dust Brothers made it an art form all it's own. Beyond that, the record is witty, fun, and for me a true classic. One of my top 10? If not, it's close to it. Definitely my favorite hip-hop album of all time.

Now I know what you are thinking, who the hell am I to judge a hip-hop album? I eat what I like, that's how. I know enough to be dangerous. I may seem like a poser to the rap purist, but like I said, Beastie Boys transcended it ten-fold, so sit on it Potsy.

Besides that, the album has grown legs since 1989, and has become a critic favorite despite the original lack of sales (like 2M copies is a flop!). For that reason, it is really special because I rarely agree with critics (at least the ones gettin' paid).

I discovered the Paul's Boutique 10 years after it's release, and I go to it frequently. It's fresh, it is the height of sampling, something that was never duplicated again due to lawsuites. But it is cohesive in a way that every great album should be, and time passes quickly when you are lost in this gem.

So I leave this blog with a song in honor of Adam Yauch from an album that has stuck with me for many years. RIP my friend. You were an original.





You got to fight, for your right, to nerd.

A.D.H.D. and the Beatles

I am thinking about the Beatles this morning. Not sure why...just am.

Thinking about Julian and how he struggled with his fathers dynasty until the day Yoko finally settled and gave him some cash...

Thinking about the Wings song Jet and wondering how it relates to John, because it supposedly is some sort of slam against him.

Thinking about how my Grandpap once told me that everything was fine until those damn Beatles came over.

Thinking about how the Beatles children are rumored to be starting a band, wondering if they will be brilliant, and if they are, will 2012 Mike be able to recognize it?

I should be planning my day.... Stupid Beatles.





I am a nerd.... goo goo g'joob.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Grandpap's Advice


Late in the evening, on April 20th 2012, my Grandfather, Thomas J Gannon JR, passed away. At the time of his death, I was waiting in line at Attic Records in Millvale, PA. They were scheduled to open at Midnight for the 5th annual Record Store Day. I was with my son Mocha and my broseph, Base.

That was interesting to me as I will now forever associate Record Store Day with his passing, but it will probably motivate me more to seek out the obscure things that Record Store Day has to offer with more vigor and dedication.

I want to pay a small tribute to my Grandpap, but it is funny how much I don't know about him. I have decided that what I do know could fill volumes, and I definately need no corrections or history lessons to write what I do know, so why not?

In August of 1913, Thomas J. Gannon Jr was born and he was raised on Mt Washington in Pittsburgh PA. He lived in Pittsburgh until marrying sometime in the late 1940's when he, his wife Eva, and his mother-in-law moved into 3217 Oakwood Street in Erie PA, a house which he owned until shortly before his death last week.

Tom had several brother and sisters, but only one was known by me. My beloved aunt Mary. Between Tom and Mary the bulk of the Gannon family was probably allowed instant access into heaven, as they both should be canonized immediately. They just don't make them like that anymore. Aunt Mary did not get loud, she simply poured a pitcher of ice water on your head. I loved that about her. I digress.

From what I have been told, a young Tom went to work at a local meat market to help support his family during the Great Depression. From what I know about my Grandpap, he was probably saving up for a car from day 1. His wheels were his freedom and the day he stopped driving a few years ago was a sad day indeed.

I think that he drove a truck for a company in the Pittsburgh Strip District before the war, and I am pretty sure he was stationed in India during WWII. Honestly, my Grandpap and I never talked about WWII, and I regret never drilling him for information on it. He probably would have asked what the hell I wanted to know about that for? Grandpap mostly stayed away from controversial topics with me, but he definitely had some opinions he didn't mind sharing as well.

The stories he did tell me were interesting, but I sometimes struggled to find the meaning in them.

A good example. After I moved to Pittsburgh in 2002, I was telling him about my family's first trip to Kennywood. He interrupted me with a story of his own:

"I remember one time I was at Kennywood. I was there with a buddy of mine, Joe (we will call him Joe as I do not remember the actual name). I was wearing a pair of white leather shoes. We were walking and Joe stepped on my shoe and scuffed it. That's the last time I talked to him."

"When was that?" I asked. "Oh hell, must have been 65 years ago I guess".

End of story. Seriously, that was it. I am still scratching my head about it.

Grandpap has accused me of both "Having Money" and "Living in the woods" since I moved to Shaler (neither is the case I assure you). I guess you can take the boy off of Mount Washington, but you can't take the South Hills yinzer out of my Grandfather. Come to think of it, he always did call laundry "warsh".

One of my favorite Grandpap quotes came to us during a birthday party for one of my nephews. My friend Pat was there and offered him a beer:

Pat: Hey Mr G, can I get you a Cold One?
Grandpap: No, I have only had two since they made it legal.

We all laughed at that, 'till we realized that he wasn't lying. Not sure about the first one, but the last one was on some brewery tour several years ago. He said he didn't like it...... my pure bred Irish Grandpap didn't like beer.....go figure.

Grandpap was all about the money. He saved like a madman and always had a little cash. He used to tell me about how he beat the system. "How?" I asked, "I have been retired from the post office for as long as I worked there". Now, I have tried several times to figure that one out, but I am not sure what year he retired, or what year he started. The math never seemed right based on when he said that to me, but if Grandpap said it, it was probably true. It was definately true at some point.

He received a pension from the Post Office, and collected Social Security. It was enough to provide a decent post retirement life for him. He once told me exactly how much money he received monthly, to which I was honored, not because I cared about his money, but HE did, and that was a such a big deal for me. I felt like a man that day.

Don't get me wrong, I would periodically show up with my hand out. Grandpap would be happy to lend if for the right reason. I remember him on his porch listening to my pitch and waiting to tell me that I could the have the cash, but if I did not pay it back I would owe it to the estate (everything was always owed to the estate). My grandfather helped me get my first car, my first apartment, and even was willing to loan me money for a down payment on a house (a deal that fell through - the money was promptly returned so I could be free of the estate debt).

I payed him back on everything else as best I could, but I was recently informed by my step-brother that Grandpap told him he was the only one who paid back every penny he owed to him. If that's what Grandpap said, then it was true, but I am pretty sure he forgave debt just as easily as he loaned money. That's the guy he was.

As much as he loaned it, he gave it away for no reason.

I remember hanging out with him one day at age 16 and he said "Lets go for a ride". The next thing I know, we were at a department store getting me sized for a new suit. I asked him why, and he simply said "Because you never know when you are going to need a suit".  I have not been without one since.

When Angi and I became pleasantly surprised with the news of our future son, Michael, we felt we needed to get married. We had planned on a simple courthouse wedding, but Grandpap refused. He instead rented a room at the Carriage House Restaurant. He payed for the service and a small dinner for our small wedding guest list. I wore my suit.

He was like that. His motto was "Family takes care of Family".

He also would know when to let family make mistakes.

At one point in my life, I found myself in Las Vegas. I had been there for almost 3 months and I was ready to go home. I was 17 at the time, penniless as I could not get steady work because I had no ID, and ready to put an end to a failed adventure in my young life. I almost cried when I heard the news on the other end of the payphone. Grandpap said, "You found your way out there, find your way back".

So I found my way back (which is a story all it's own). I grew up a little then, not nearly enough, but it was a turning point in my life. I don't think I even got mad at him. After all, he was right.

He tortured me some when I was young. I was required to go to his barber for my monthly nerd do. "Give him a man's cut" were the worst words in the English language when I was 10. It was 1985, and a buzz cut was not the way to attract good attention. Neither were the glasses he insisted I have. Everything cool was "To big for my face" or "Too much damn money". That was a tough winter for us both. I "accidentally" stepped on every pair of glasses he bought.

There was also the rubber garden hose. 18" of shit you didn't want to be on the wrong end of. Now, people can be as sensitive as they want these days about hitting kids, but I was a nightmare when I was 10. I was rebelling for several reasons, and my poor grandparents got the bulk of the abuse. Grandpap BEAT MY ASS with a rubber hose on occasion, and guess what, I absolutely deserved it. Know what else? It still stings. Looking back, I am sure he hated doing that.

He used to get so mad at me, that he would call me ChuckJackMike. That is when I knew I was in the shit, but it also meant that I was on par with his sons. That meant the world to me.

I remember the day in 5th grade I went to School without my homework. Sister John Francis had about enough of my crap, and told me that I had to stay for detention. I was not sure what was worse, telling Grandpap that I had to stay for detention, or actually staying for detention.

I decided neither was worth it, so I came up with a plan. I would run out of the room as soon as the bell rang and just go home. I guess I though that Sister John Francis would forget about her punishment if I was not there? Not sure what I was thinking.

3217 Oakwood was only 6-1/4 blocks from Blessed Sacrament school. A 10 minute walk uphill if you were dragging ass. As I got to the house that day, I noticed a strange car in the driveway. Sister John Francis was at Grandpaps house when I got home. She beat me there. He beat me there too...lol. I forgot that Grandpap was pretty tight with the nuns.

When he became unable to care for himself in the early 2000's, I was not financially ready or mature enough to assist with his care. My Uncle and his wife took him in. I guess that it was not really my responsibility to do anything, but it didn't feel that way then. I really hated seeing him deteriorate, so I mostly stayed away. When I did see him though, the one thing I always noticed was that the spark in his eye never faded. Tom Gannon never lost his wits.

For Grandpap's 95th Birthday Party, I did some research about the year he was born and came up with a clever speech to give at the party. It had to do with how 1913 also gave us the Zipper, and how it's discovery lead to such innovations as nooners and public urination. Well, as soon as I get the word Zipper out of my mouth, Grandpap informed everyone that it was invented in Meadville, and that there was a small manufacturing facility in Erie where the Arthur F Shultz store is today. Oh yeah, and that my Grandmother worked there for a short period of time. He gave a nice history lesson that day.

Well played Grandpap. I sat down and pretended that it was all supposed to go that way. I gladly let him have some thunder.

To this day, I still stick toothpicks between the interior roof panel and windshield molding of my car for easy access (thanks for that one G). I still get excited when I go to Hoss's. I still say "Try your lights" to people in traffic. I never really talk politics. I never question a man's religion. I take care of my family, and whenever I see someone doing something stupid, I hear his voice sarcastically say "Ohhhh Boy".

I still hear Grandpap's advice when I need it. I absolutely wore a suit to the funeral.

Thanks again G.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Guano Loco Lead Singer Syndrome


In honor of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony this weekend, I have decided to spend a little time talking about the craziest weirdo on the plant W. Axl Rose (Bill Bailey).

Axl recently broke his silence to post/send a letter to the LA Times explaining why he will not attend the R&RHoF ceremony where his former band, Guns and Roses will be bestowed with one of Rocks greatest honors.

Now, we all know that Axl owns the name "Guns and Roses" but no matter how hard he tries, he cannot escape the fact that this band was the sum of its parts, and not his solo project with a backing band as it stands today.

I would love to say that Axl is a parody of his former self, but the truth is that he was always an asshole. I would love to say that Axl actually deserves the attention he gets, but he doesn't. He is just another wacked out star. At least he is true to himself in being who he has always been.

 I now realize that his voice is the most screechy, nasally, high pitched, odd sounding thing I have ever heard. To me, Axl sounds like a Muppet. It took me years to realize that, as I had my "I grew up with GnR" Axl Rose colored glasses on, but as an adult, I can be more objective.



100 Years from now, people will look back at us and laugh their uranium plated asses off at our weirdness. I honestly think that anyone looking back will hear Screechy Mr. Rose, and wonder what all the fuss was about?


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Cash Rules Everything Around Me:


According to celebritynetworth.com, Axl is worth a cool $200 Million. Let's break down the other members:
  • Slash = $32 Million
  • Izzy = $28 Million
  • Duff = $20 Million (I thought it would be more - he was supposed to be a financial guru, an early Starbucks investor, and is a financial columnist)
  • Adler = $15 Million
  • Matt = $10 Million (not bad for a hired Gun)

That's right, Axl is worth almost twice as much as the other Guns combined. How the hell did that happen? With a smile and a middle finger, that's how.


On a side note, just in case you were wondering (I was) :
  • Gene Simmons is worth $300 Million
  • Paul = $125 Million
  • Ace = $35 Million
  • Peter = $2 Million



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 House That Rock Built


Back to Axl. Dude, you are delusional. Unfortunately so many of your fans buy your bamboozle, although not in terms of record sales, just in concert tickets. I would not walk across the street to see 2012 GnR for free. It is not the band I grew up with. It is DRL band, it is the Vince Neil band, it's the Art Garfunkel band, it's Sublime with Rome, it's like James Gang without Joe Walsh or Paul Bostaph era Slayer (yeah, I said that).

Not cool Axl. Not cool at all.

So now Axl has decided to shun the House that Rock built. Not really a big shock, but the way he worded it kinda sound like he is gearing up for a lawsuit if anyone even mentions the name Guns and Roses.

Quote from Axl's letter to the LA Times:
For the record, I would not begrudge anyone from Guns their accomplishments or recognition for such. Neither I or anyone in my camp has made any requests or demands of the Hall Of Fame. It's their show not mine.

That said, I won't be attending The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction 2012 Ceremony and I respectfully decline my induction as a member of Guns N' Roses to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame.
I strongly request that I not be inducted in absentia and please know that no one is authorized nor may anyone be permitted to accept any induction for me or speak on my behalf. Neither former members, label representatives nor the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame should imply whether directly, indirectly or by omission that I am included in any purported induction of "Guns N' Roses".

Another Quote:
There's a seemingly endless amount of revisionism and fantasies out there for the sake of self-promotion and business opportunities masking the actual realities. Until every single one of those generating from or originating with the earlier lineups has been brought out in the light, there isn't room to consider a conversation let alone a reunion.

Maybe if it were you it'd be different. Maybe you'd do it for this reason or that. Peace, whatever. I love our band now. We're there for each other when the going get's rough. We love our fans and work to give them every ounce of energy and heart we can.

Axl, just so we are clear on this, every single Guns fan alive is a fan of the Appetite and Illusion line-ups, not this farce with the guy from the Friends soundtrack, that one dude who kinda wears a hat like Slash and the other guys that no one has heard of. Dizzy Reed doesn't count either (who?).

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Will the real Guns and Roses please stand up?


Guns and Roses was the sum of it's parts. The great songwriting and loose rhythm playing of Izzy, the no frills lead work of Slash, Duff's guitar turned Bass playing, and the caveman drumming of Steven Adler. There was also this weasel guy singing.


They killed Hair Metal. They kicked ass. They rocked so hard they got respect from every side of the music biz. They reminded everybody that edgy rock and roll should not be contrived. That rebellion started this coaster, and nothing runs it better than rebellion. They changed the world over the course of 1 Album, 1 EP and 2 follow-up Albums that should have been condensed into one.

They became a monster, and their lead singer willingly bought the hype. He actually believed that he was better than everybody else. His ego became so huge that it systematically eliminated the thing that got him to the top, his band. In doing so he convinced himself that he alone was Guns and Roses.

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Digression - Giving Izzy Credit:


Anyone care to take a stab at why GnR fell so fast back in the early 90's? Simple: because Izzy quit. Izzy was the heart of that little band, and they sucked without him.


OK, so there was Velvet Revolver. Anyone care to guess why they sucked? I have some good ideas, but the main reason: Izzy was not into it, so Izzy did not do it. If Izzy was into it, VR would have had a better shot of ruling.




Izzy Stradlin is a "do whatever the hell I want" kind of guy these days, and I seriously respect that, but I hate Axl for the same reason. That's my double standard and I am not giving it up! Unfortunately, Izzy's music today is some of the most uninspired crap I have ever heard and it makes Keith Richards solo work seem really good.

It was not always that way though. Remember the JuJu Hounds?


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Reunion:

Guns and Roses will never reunite. It is a shame. Whack-a-doodle Sammy Hagar has offered to manage them if they would get back together. That's saying something. There is so much money at stake that they are idiots for not looking into it, and BTW, it is worth every penny to the fans, so Axl could go to bed at night knowing that he is not a sellout.

Hanging on to the Guns and Roses name is a falsehood because Axl outsourced the music to scabs. Lets be honest about this though. As long as people show up to the arenas, Axl will never reunite the old band, and even then there is no guarantee.

Led Zeppelin wouldn't reunite because Bonham is dead, but then they did. Kiss pulled it off (until they didn't). Van Halen is on a successful tour with DRL (minus Michael Anthony). The Sex Pistols did it. Even the Police did a tour recently. Hear that Axl, POLICE REUNITED!!!!

It's a drag when the fans, the real fans, can't get no satisfaction from the artist.
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Axl the Artist:


Axl Rose is the kind of guy that you hate to be around.
  • You know the guy that could run the fryer better than you at McDonalds? Yeah, that was Axl.
  • You remember the guy from grade school that would make up the rules of kick ball as the game went along because he sucked? Yeah, that was Axl.
  • You remember the kid that cried when you beat him at Chutes and Ladders? Axl...
  • The guy that only liked girls you liked? Axl...

Just because you can rhyme words does not make you a poet. Let's examine some of Axl's brilliance:

Example #1:
When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you, don't you know I feel the same?
Nothin' lasts forever and we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain
 
 
When I look upon his words I can see they sound the same.Maybe I am just wrong, and Axl isn't strange.
Is it possible that he's great, and the rest of us are lame?
He thinks it's rocket science, 'cause he smoked some Mary Jane.

Example #2
You could be mine
but you're way out of line
with your bitch slap rappin and your cocaine tongue you get nothin' done
you could be mine

Wow, that shit is so lame that I don't even care to rip on it. My point is that we take clowns like this too seriously. After all, it is the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY for Rose's sake.

I'll bet that Axl thinks he can do pottery better than everybody to. That's the guy he is. And boy did he think highly of himself back in the day:


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Conclusion:

Axl, please stay home and cry about how it's you against he world. If everybody else around you are all assholes, chances are (it's you buddy)..........

Truth:
  • You are famous because of guys like me that saw some talent in a band, and believed in that.
  • You are famous because of guys like Izzy, that lent you his music for you to create a signature.
  • You are famous because of guys like Slash, a throwback to an era when image, talent and originality actually mattered.
  • You are famous because you had balls, and so did the bros you so easily cast aside.
  • You are famous because we let you be, and sooner or later the rest of the world will figure out that you are a hack. 

I will let James sum it all up (twice):







 Nerdin' like a freight train, flyin' like an aeroplane.