As I wait on my father to get a simple outpatient proceedure at UPMC Hamot in Erie on his ridiculously near sighted right eye (a trait I severly inherited), I requested someone make coffee. The pot was dry, and I did not have the right tools to jump in and do the job myself (the key to the cabinet).
Upon arrival of the keeper of the coffee key, I was asked if I wanted decaf? "Blasphemy" said I. The coffee god proceeded to explain why I shouldn't drink decaf anyway, because of the chemicals used in the decaffinating process.
A quick google search later, and the truth is revealed. There are several ways to skin a bean, and not all are considered a health risk. Chemicals are used however, make no mistake about that.
With the above in mind, I am not mad at chemical usage in decaffinization, nor am I concerned about health aspects associated with ingesting said chemicals. Nay, I am saddened someone actually came up with this process to begin with. You can't un-phuck anymore than you can un-invent. It's tragic. Not to mention the emotional turmoil endured by the coffee beans themselves.
I never considered it before today. Sceince removing caffeine from a coffee bean is equalivant to a Ginger taking the soul of a human being. Without caffeine, the bean loses purpose, and eventually becomes evil.
Poor little guys. These innocent gifts from the gods are sucked dry of their goodness in the most inhumane ways. Science opens their little pores up, drains them of their caffeine with chemicals, then puts the lifeless liquid back into the beans. They are dried and sold as decaf.
Such great lenghts. Who decided this was a worthy experiment? I believe a Jumper should be employed to go back and talk Science out of doing it in the first place. Explain that Skynet going live only leads to bad sequels and worse remakes (nerd alert).
Ok... Dad is done, so is this blog to nowhere...
Can they decaffinate vanillia beans?
Nago
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