Q. What do Elvis and Nago have in common?
A. We both have small houses.
I had some downtime this week between meetings while in Memphis. Consequently I found myself twiddling thumb and unwilling to stare at a hotel wall any longer. In an effort to keep occupied I rented a car and went to Graceland. I mean, why not? I am not a
huge fan of Elvis or anything, but I understand that without him, my favorite band (The
Beatles) never would have greased their hair and started playing Rock ‘n
Roll. They all drank a steady diet of Elvis Kool-Aid, so certainly I could offer up one afternoon to my hero's hero. It only seemed right.
Is Elvis the King of R&R? I know it to be true that perception is
reality, so why not? He was a cool alternative to the Light
Jazz scene my grandparents dug, and he really did bring black music to the white
popular culture of the day. He was puppy dog dangerous enough to break
through to the kids, and also probably the first tabloid star (save the
royal family). My generation listened to Slayer and Prince. In comparison, Elvis’s controversial gyrations were about as dangerous as chewing too
much Big League Chew, but parents hating their kids music had to start somewhere.
Here’s what shocked me: Graceland’s main house is relatively small for
a Kings mansion. Seriously, I know people with kitchens that make his look like
it belongs in a single wide trailer. It’s just not that big. He had a bar and pool table in
his basement, but in my town, a lot of people have the same. Elvis owned several TV’s, but so does everybody I
know, so no big deal there either. I can say with 100% certainty that none of
my acquaintances have a wall fountain in their jungle room though. 
The Elvster bought into the 70’s like nobody’s business. Shag carpets,
dark drapes, fabric covered ceilings and hardwood tongue & groove abound. I
am sure all of his comforts were top luxury during his residency on this
estate, and in his defense, the property surrounding the house was very
impressive.
With all of the above stated it really is a tourist trap. Across the
street from the mansion you can tour his planes (which were super cool) and
visit all of the Elvis novelty shops complete with souvenirs galore. I
purchased 5 postcards and 2 books of matches, spending a whopping
$2.97 including tax on memorabilia. I fully intend to mail the postcards when I get
back home. I am hanging on the fat Elvis meets President Nixon card though. I find it funny.
Musically, I like fat Elvis. His band was twangy and had a sound all its own, plus
they fit the 70’s decade like a glove. Steven Tyler wishes he had the swag of
the fat man back then. I digress…
I hope to find myself with nothing to do in London so I can mess with traffic on Abby Road, but it’s not likely this year. However, I will be back in
Memphis soon, and if I again find myself with disposable hours I will visit Sun
Studios, Gibson Custom Shop, and Stax. Beleedat!
One final note: Westboro Baptist Church is planning an Elvis protest at
Graceland this Friday. God hates Elvis? It's a shame they weren't there the day I was,
for you might have seen me on the news throwing
postcards and matchbooks at them. Losers.
