Going on a Rhoads trip. ALL ABOARD!!!

It is 2012, and I am pretty sure everyone on the planet has heard Crazy Train. Back in 1987, every teenage wanna be guitar player in my hometown was cramping their fretting hand trying to work out the main riff. Most of them playing on some second hand piece of garbage bought from World of Music.

Randy Rhoads was huge in my click back then. It was due to Ozzy releasing the Tribute LP. We all had it (or a dubbed copy of it). It spent at least a solid 6 months in my tape deck. I was 12 going on 13 that year.

Fast forward 12 or so years to the late 90's. My wife and I were walking through the Millcreek Mall, and we saw a young girl, probably 14, wearing a Randy Rhoads Tribute t-shirt. She was enthusiastically explaining his awesomeness to her friend on a bench outside of The Cookie Factory.

That stuck with me for a few reasons, but I remember thinking that this kid was out of place in 1999. Regardless it was good to see a child from the next generation geeking out to Randy.

After I started researching this blog, I told my wife about that specific memory, and I was accused of being weird..... Ahem........I say nay.........not weird at all. I would make a mental note of a Randy Rhoads shirt today if I saw one, that's what rock nerds do.

By the time I hit high school, Randy's playing was fully integrated into my thought process. I judged guitar players by whether or not they could do the solo to Crazy Train without messing up (I still can't even start the solo - but I was playing drums back then). When it came time for our cover band, INFERNO to play a benefit at the Corry High School, there was no question about Crazy Train being in the set list!

What is my point in all this rambling? I dig Randy Rhoads. I have come to love his rhythm playing and writing as much as his soloing these days. His feel for music riffage and arrangement was outstanding.

So, we are on the cusp of the 30th Anniversary of  Randy Rhoads death, and I am wondering, how do I pay tribute? So I started digging.... What I wanted to find was more than just the run of the mill "Sharon approved" statements from the Osbourne handlers. So I looked elsewhere. Old interviews, youtube clips, Books, articles, etc. for information from the people associated with Randy. Finding material for this blog would prove tedious and time consuming.

 I decided to start by rooting through old OZZY interviews to get some info straight out of the 80's (before years of spin doctoring changed history).

The opening story is a result of the excavation, and I take full responsibility for it because I wrote it. 

The second half contains quotes I wanted to geek out to. I tried to stay away from protected content, and I took the liberty to paraphrase when needed. I cannot verify the accuracy of the written words, but some of the quotes are from video interviews, so the artists did say them. The problem with Ozzy history is that Ozzy himself constantly re-writes his own stories by changing them with each interview, and there are several versions of every story depending on the interviewee. Ozzy tells a lot of white lies, but so does everybody else. I digress.... I hope you enjoy!

Dude, she is a little young for you.

I am a student of Rock History, and every now and then I come across a story of some Rocker that hooked up with some teenage strange. Some even went as far as taking custody or marrying the object of their affections despite their age. Today, we would call that illegal. Today we would register them as sex offenders. Today, similar actions would be huge scandals, and we all would hang on every breaking detail via the 24 hour media..

I knew a girl in the 8th grade who dated a local rock band guy in his early 20's. It was kind of creepy then, and that was 1988. In her defense she was smoking hot for her age (just kidding....jeesh).

There are several stories, and I am sure I will miss some of them, but it seems like the idea used to be a little less taboo or something. It is almost celebrated in some cases. I have a feeling this blog will be fun to write. Especially if I start with a fictional tale........

TONIGHT I AM THE HOST OF:

BIG UPS TO MY NEW PHOTOSHOP PROGRAM - WHAT WHAT!!!

 

 

At the Aerosmith show in BFE Texas, during an intense rendering of Rag Doll, Steven Tyler spots a lipstick-n-leather teenage queenie seated front row center. A few winks and shit vocal squeals later, Steven signals his bodyguard to corral this young lass and bring her backstage (so she can drink from his glass).

Unbeknownst to Steven, the Girl is actually an undercover agent working with Dateline NBC. 

The trap is set. Our agent is brought backstage while the band finishes butchering their encore. Meanwhile, I am crouched behind the vegan deli tray with a hidden camera nestled between the broccoli and shitake mushrooms, when in walks Steven, looking for his prey.

I jump at the opportunity.

MN: Mr Tyler, I would like to ask you a few questions, will you sit down please?
ST: I don't wanna miss a thing.
MN: Good. Did you sing "Hot Tramp, Daddy's little cutie, you're so fine"? to a young fan tonight?
ST: You can't catch me 'cause the rabbit done died
MN: Really? So when you were bent over the stage, directly in front of her "singin' "hey diddle diddle"with your kitty in the middle of the swing like you just don't care", you weren't insinuating something about her hush?
ST: I was saying a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight...
MN: Sure Mr Tyler. How do you think her parents would feel about this behavior?
ST: Her Daddy said I took it just a little too far.
MN: How would you feel if this was your daughter?
ST: Daddy's little cutie?
MN: Yes Steven, Daddy's little cutie... Have you ever heard of To Catch a Predator? We are filming this.

As I point out the hidden camera, Steven yells "Kiss your Sassafras" and he gallops out the backstage door, only to be tackled by local police waiting for him.

Get the idea?

You suck.........Live.

The following post is dedicated to all the bands that have, or have had, flaws in the live department (aka PA - premature amplification) and sucked an egg.

Before you get too defensive about your favorite band on this list, keep in mind that I have also played out a time or two, and I too have been guilty of sucketry (new word) once or twice in my own right...

I have also been to a few professional touring concerts and club shows (no idea on the count, it's in the hundreds easily). I used to tip back more than my share, so for a long time my opinion was somewhat flawed. Every concert rocks when you are into the band and LOADED, and every show sucks when you hate the band.

For this blog, I have decided to focus on the legendary suckyness.

10-3/4 "Giving Up" Songs - Lent 2012



At my Grandparents house, Easter was THE big holiday. New clothes, big dinner, baskets of chocolate, church, stations of the cross, redemption....the whole deal. Now that I am older I understand why. Without Easter, there is no Christianity. They were devout Roman Catholics, as were the majority of Erie-ites at one time, and that is how it was.

Lent is somewhat fascinating to me. The 40 (or so) Days before Easter traditionally spent fasting that somehow got diluted into "sacrificing" luxuries or bad habits. I actually know a guy in his 50's who still gives up sweets every year for Lent. If St. Peter (or P-Siddy as I like to call him) is teetering when my friend is standing at the pearly gates, he may need to pull that candy card to weigh a certain decision in his favor.

Oh yeah, with lent comes the bad jokes as well:
"I am giving up Lent for Lent"
"I gave up procrastinating, but then I figured, maybe next year"
"I am giving up work for Lent"
and so on.....

Living in Pittsburgh, Lent means really big fish sandwiches on Friday.

If and How you celebrate it really depends on your beliefs, and I am not one to talk too much religion with anyone. I do fear that we are rapidly loosing our traditions though. I was talking with my mother the other day about Catholicism, and I said that if I ever do get back into organized religion, I would seriously consider Catholicism once again, as I like to root for the underdog. There is also something to all that tradition that is appealing to me.

What a self inflicted beating the Catholic Church has taken. Scandal after scandal, it becomes more obvious that the world has changed. Personal opinion: restraining from procreation is a dumb rule. Keep some traditions and bail on the ones that don't work. I am sure that will never happen, under the current Roman Pontiff, the Catholic Church is headed backwards and becoming more conservative.

The Catholic Church has held power of some sort and been around for a long time. Who knows, there may again come a time when Catholic Church is attended by the masses (no pun intended). Until then the parishioner numbers continue to dwindle, and that is not just a catholic problem. All I know is that a few miles away from my house, I can attend a concert at an old church, then walk down the road and shop for furniture at another, and afterward drive a mile to swill at the Church Brew Works. The city is littered with empty schools, churches and convents as the Catholic Dioceese and other religious groups continue to consolidate congregations. It's sad really.

Back to Lent. This year my family and I are taking Fat Tuesday pretty seriously as everybody is feeling fat. So 2012 Lent is a time of giving up some of the bad eating habits of the winter, which feels right to me, probably due to my catholic upbringing, or maybe just because I am getting fat... Either way it's all good.

A child with children & a flannel wardrobe.

I lived through the 90's and I remember it well. My hair was long, like all one length riding below my shoulders long. I rocked some army green cargo shorts. My glasses were uncomfortably big and I probably thought YOU were kinda stupid. Here's why:

• Kim Deal screwed your girlfriend?
• You thought Mark Pickerel was "deep"?
• You had bass tablature for Dishwalla songs?
• Reality Bites changed your life?
• You wore a sleeveless flannel in the summer?
• You understood the lyrics to Jeremy?
• You got pregnant at Lilith Fair?
• You quit community college to follow Phish?

Yeah, you like to look back with rose colored glasses, but you can't hide from the truth!!!

Herman's folly = Uli's FAIL ( Scorpions )

I am floored and stripping myself of my rock cred. I am punching myself all Fight Club style, and breaking the first rule of Fight Club. I am not a true metal dude and not cool at all. I'd cut but it's weird.

Why the high drama?

10-1/2 Love Songs - Valentines 2012

I am celebrating St. Valentines Day with a 10-1/2 song, smoochy-smoochy, blog!!!!

What says "I Love You" like a re-spin of the tune you fell in love to in the first place? How about a song that says what you can't find the words to say? Don't forget; there is nothing like a song sent to a potential sweetheart, or to simply just set the mood for a little BowBowChickaChicka.. NawMean?

I gathered the following list of tunes that just might give cupid a little help during the 2012 season of love.... From the longing to the broken & a few stops in between.

It is in no particular order. Not a top 10 ten anything other than my nerdy thoughts for today.